[Vision2020] Sex abusers prey on kids' trust, thrive on shame and fear, experts say

[Art Deco]

Sex abusers prey on kids' trust, thrive on shame and fear, experts say
By *Lisa Sylvester* and *Bethany Swain*, CNN
updated 5:09 PM EDT, Sat June 23, 2012
 [image: Watch this video]
  *STORY HIGHLIGHTS*

   - Most children who experience abuse do not report it, expert says
   - Abusers often look for children they consider to be easy targets
   - Red flags for abuse include depression and emotional regression

 *(CNN)* -- It's hard to pin down the numbers. The American Academy of
Child & Adolescent Psychiatry says child sex abuse is reported 80,000
times<http://aacap.org/page.ww?name=Child+Sexual+Abuse&section=Facts+for+Families>a
year. But experts acknowledge those numbers are just a drop in the
bucket. Many more child sex abuse cases never go reported.

"Most of the kids don't report that someone did something to them; there's
the whole shame factor," said Steven Lancaster, executive director of the
nonprofit Childhelp Alice C. Tyler
Village<http://www.childhelp.org/programs/entry/childhelp-alice-c-tyler-village>,
a residential treatment center for abused children in Lignum, Virginia.

Lancaster said children often won't disclose abuse because they fear they
won't be believed or they are afraid of their abuser. He said sexual
predators will go to great lengths to cover their actions, including
threatening the child.

"It could be everything from convincing a child that no one is going to
believe them, you're going to lose friends, everyone is going to hate you,
to as drastic as if you tell I'm going to do something horrible to your
family," Lancaster said.

*Grooming*

Abusers often look for children who are easy targets. It might be a child
seeking a parental figure or it could be a child suffering from low
self-esteem.

Lancaster said abusers usually do not target the popular child. More often
than not, it's the loner in a group.

"If they walked into a room they could pick out which kids they could
probably groom and victimize," he said.

Mark Horner, a Virginia clinical psychologist, also works with abused
children at the Childhelp center.

He said former Penn State assistant coach Jerry Sandusky's organization
Second Mile gave him easy access to at-risk youths. "Instead of having to
troll and look for children, they came to him."

"That's a typical process of grooming, becoming a best friend, a caregiver,
and tantalizing them -- 'I'm going to take care of you,'" Horner said.

When it's an authority figure or someone who is a pillar in the community,
the abuse can go uncovered for years, according to psychologists.

"Our culture wants to believe the best about people, especially admired
sports figures or priests," Horner said. "We want to believe the best about
people, we idealize them. It makes it that much easier to discount any
evidence this person's character has a darker side."

*Role for parents*

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry advises parents to
talk to their children about proper boundaries, starting when they're young.

Children need to be taught that if someone tries to touch them and makes
them feel uncomfortable, they should tell them no and report it to a parent
right away.

And parents should keep an eye out for unusual behavior.

Read the AACAP's red
flags<http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/child_sexual_abuse>

Children who have been sexually abused may become depressed or withdrawn.
They may emotionally regress, with actions such as bed-wetting. They may
suddenly not want to go over to someone's house or want to skip a sports
practice.

"The main thing is (to) listen carefully and believe what your child is
telling you and to inquire if you see your child acting differently,"
Horner said.

*Lisa Sylvester is a CNN correspondent and blogger at ParentsDesk.com.
She's on Twitter** @LSylvesterCNN <https://twitter.com/#%21/lsylvestercnn>**.
Bethany Swain is a CNN Photojournalist and an adjunct University of
Maryland professor. She's on Twitter
**@BethanySwainCNN.<https://twitter.com/#%21/bethanyswaincnn>
*


-- 
Art Deco (Wayne A. Fox)
art.deco.studios at gmail.com
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