[Vision2020] Ques. For you: What is Most Important in a Relationship?

Thu Jul 19 08:43:08 PDT 2012

@Chasuk:

Much of what you said is also reflected in the seminal work *A New Look At
Love.*

This is a well written, very readable scholarly work of interest to those
into understanding, building, and maintaining intimate relationships.

More:
http://books.google.com/books/about/A_New_Look_At_Love.html?id=VBZgXsk-gsAC

w.

On Thu, Jul 19, 2012 at 8:35 AM, Tom Hansen <thansen at moscow.com> wrote:

> Did you hear about the suicidal twin that shot his brother by mistake?
>
>
> Seeya round town, Moscow.
>
> Tom Hansen
> Moscow, Idaho
>
> "If not us, who?
> If not now, when?"
>
> - Unknown
>
>
>
> On Jul 19, 2012, at 8:30, Darrell Keim <keim153 at gmail.com> wrote:
>
> There has got to be a good story here!
>
> On Thu, Jul 19, 2012 at 8:27 AM, Joe Campbell <<philosopher.joe at gmail.com>
> philosopher.joe at gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> I forgot one other thing: don't marry a twin! Joe
>>
>> On Wed, Jul 18, 2012 at 9:03 PM, Scott Dredge < <scooterd408 at hotmail.com>
>> scooterd408 at hotmail.com> wrote:
>> > You don't need to date someone that is like you, I'd just recommend
>> dating
>> > someone that you're compatible with and vice versa.  You can be
>> opposites in
>> > many ways and yet still have compatible lifestyles.
>> >
>> > -Scott
>> >
>> > ________________________________
>> > Date: Wed, 18 Jul 2012 19:05:01 -0700
>> > From: <donovanjarnold2005 at yahoo.com>donovanjarnold2005 at yahoo.com
>> > Subject: Re: [Vision2020] Ques. For you: What is Most Important in a
>> > Relationship?
>> > To: <scooterd408 at hotmail.com>scooterd408 at hotmail.com;
>> <vision2020 at moscow.com>vision2020 at moscow.com
>> >
>> > Thanks Scott, that does help. I think that is a good litmus test, how
>> long I
>> > can spend in a room with someone and not want to kick them out, or them
>> me.
>> > I don't think however I am compatible with someone that is like me. I
>> like
>> > dating someone that is different and therefore more interesting. There
>> are
>> > few, is any people I like sharing most my time and space with.  I know
>> the
>> > odds are slim of it lasting forever, but you never know unless you try,
>> yes?
>> > I just, honestly, don't want to wake up two decades from now, be alone,
>> fat,
>> > wrinkled, and missed out on sharing my old age and troubles with
>> someone.
>> >
>> > Donovan J. Arnold
>> >
>> > From: Scott Dredge < <scooterd408 at hotmail.com>scooterd408 at hotmail.com>
>> > To: <donovanjarnold2005 at yahoo.com>donovanjarnold2005 at yahoo.com; viz <<vision2020 at moscow.com>
>> vision2020 at moscow.com>
>> > Sent: Wednesday, July 18, 2012 7:20 PM
>> > Subject: RE: [Vision2020] Ques. For you: What is Most Important in a
>> > Relationship?
>> >
>> > The utmost importance is to find someone you're compatible with and
>> who's
>> > compatible with you.  That answers all of your questions below.  A good
>> test
>> > of compatibility is to spend a lotta, lotta, lotta, time with them.  If
>> you
>> > spend 3 hours with them and then need 3 days away from them to recover
>> from
>> > being sick of being around them, then that's a good indication of
>> > incompatibility.  If you can travel in close quarters for a solid month
>> > where you're pretty much together 24 hours a day and you don't get sick
>> of
>> > each other and in fact thoroughly enjoy each others company during that
>> > time, that might be a good indication that you can hang together and
>> might
>> > have a lot in common.  If you get married to this person, you have a
>> 50/50
>> > chance - at the absolute very best - at making it the distance (death).
>> >
>> > I took a psychology class many years ago and the marriage statistics
>> back
>> > then were bleak.  The prof categorized US marriages such that out of
>> every
>> > 10 marriages: 5 of them ended in divorce, 2 of them stuck together
>> because
>> > of convenience, 1 of them was a dead marriage, 1 stuck together for the
>> sake
>> > of their kids, and 1 was a happy marriage.  The moral of the story was
>> that
>> > you had a 10% chance of being happily married - and I guess you just
>> hope to
>> > God that your spouse is equally happily married otherwise he/she can
>> simply
>> > just say 'bye-bye' and there's not a whole heck of a lot you can do to
>> keep
>> > your marriage from dissolving like so many of them do.
>> >
>> > By the way, I've never bought into the idea that 'relationships are
>> work' -
>> > except for bad ones.  Those can be a frustratingly pile of work.  Why
>> > bother?  Life is too short to be stuck in a crappy relationship.
>> >
>> > Best wishes in finding your soul mate!
>> >
>> > -Scott
>> >
>> >
>> > Date: Wed, 18 Jul 2012 17:43:41 -0700
>> > From: <donovanjarnold2005 at yahoo.com>donovanjarnold2005 at yahoo.com
>> > To: <vision2020 at moscow.com>vision2020 at moscow.com
>> > Subject: [Vision2020] Ques. For you: What is Most Important in a
>> > Relationship?
>> >
>> > I was wondering what people look for in a life partner, what standards
>> do
>> > they have.
>> >
>> > What is most important in a relationship?
>> >
>> > What character traits do you look for?
>> >
>> > What are the deal breakers, in terms of looks, behavior, and attitude?
>> >
>> > What about looks vs. personality? Would you be willing to have a
>> partner you
>> > know you would not find that attractive in the near future, but they
>> had a
>> > loving character and personality?
>> >
>> > How about their health, would you continue to be with someone even if
>> you
>> > knew they would leave you old and alone? Would you stay with them and do
>> > that to them?
>> >
>> > What about financial success? Do they need to be at a certain level, or
>> is
>> > any financial situation OK with a partner you love?
>> >
>> > People that got divorced, what do you suggest would make a relationship
>> > last, not last?
>> >
>> > How much are you allowed to demand from your partner, and how much
>> should
>> > you be willing to change for them?
>> >
>> > How about fidelity? Would you marry if you thought you could not be
>> > faithful, or you felt they would not be? How about infidelity after,
>> should
>> > it end, or accepted?
>> >
>> > Does the idea of being faithful, and being 50/50 partners with person
>> for
>> > the rest of your life, for better or worse scare you?
>> >
>> > I know these are kind of personal, and you can be vague, but I am kinda
>> > wondering if other people think and feel about these issues the same as
>> I
>> > do. I've never seriously thought about this stuff before because I was
>> > young, and marriage was illegal for me until recently. It wasn't really
>> in
>> > the cards until now.  Now that I am getting older and marriage is an
>> actual
>> > choice, this is kind of new for me so I have not had the opportunity to
>> > consider and experience these things like many of you have been
>> > fortunate/unfortunate to have done for your entire life. Any insights
>> you
>> > can give me would be appreciated.
>> >
>> >
>> > Donovan J. Arnold
>> >
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-- 
Art Deco (Wayne A. Fox)
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