[Vision2020] Ques. For you: What is Most Important in a Relationship?

Joe Campbell philosopher.joe at gmail.com
Thu Jul 19 08:40:09 PDT 2012 

All I'll say is when you marry a twin it is a kind of perverse
polygamist relationship, with all the problems associated with
marriage yet missing any of the benefits. At least that was my
experience. Joe

On Thu, Jul 19, 2012 at 8:35 AM, Tom Hansen <thansen at moscow.com> wrote:
> Did you hear about the suicidal twin that shot his brother by mistake?
>
> Seeya round town, Moscow.
>
> Tom Hansen
> Moscow, Idaho
>
> "If not us, who?
> If not now, when?"
>
> - Unknown
>
>
>
> On Jul 19, 2012, at 8:30, Darrell Keim <keim153 at gmail.com> wrote:
>
> There has got to be a good story here!
>
> On Thu, Jul 19, 2012 at 8:27 AM, Joe Campbell <philosopher.joe at gmail.com>
> wrote:
>>
>> I forgot one other thing: don't marry a twin! Joe
>>
>> On Wed, Jul 18, 2012 at 9:03 PM, Scott Dredge <scooterd408 at hotmail.com>
>> wrote:
>> > You don't need to date someone that is like you, I'd just recommend
>> > dating
>> > someone that you're compatible with and vice versa.  You can be
>> > opposites in
>> > many ways and yet still have compatible lifestyles.
>> >
>> > -Scott
>> >
>> > ________________________________
>> > Date: Wed, 18 Jul 2012 19:05:01 -0700
>> > From: donovanjarnold2005 at yahoo.com
>> > Subject: Re: [Vision2020] Ques. For you: What is Most Important in a
>> > Relationship?
>> > To: scooterd408 at hotmail.com; vision2020 at moscow.com
>> >
>> > Thanks Scott, that does help. I think that is a good litmus test, how
>> > long I
>> > can spend in a room with someone and not want to kick them out, or them
>> > me.
>> > I don't think however I am compatible with someone that is like me. I
>> > like
>> > dating someone that is different and therefore more interesting. There
>> > are
>> > few, is any people I like sharing most my time and space with.  I know
>> > the
>> > odds are slim of it lasting forever, but you never know unless you try,
>> > yes?
>> > I just, honestly, don't want to wake up two decades from now, be alone,
>> > fat,
>> > wrinkled, and missed out on sharing my old age and troubles with
>> > someone.
>> >
>> > Donovan J. Arnold
>> >
>> > From: Scott Dredge <scooterd408 at hotmail.com>
>> > To: donovanjarnold2005 at yahoo.com; viz <vision2020 at moscow.com>
>> > Sent: Wednesday, July 18, 2012 7:20 PM
>> > Subject: RE: [Vision2020] Ques. For you: What is Most Important in a
>> > Relationship?
>> >
>> > The utmost importance is to find someone you're compatible with and
>> > who's
>> > compatible with you.  That answers all of your questions below.  A good
>> > test
>> > of compatibility is to spend a lotta, lotta, lotta, time with them.  If
>> > you
>> > spend 3 hours with them and then need 3 days away from them to recover
>> > from
>> > being sick of being around them, then that's a good indication of
>> > incompatibility.  If you can travel in close quarters for a solid month
>> > where you're pretty much together 24 hours a day and you don't get sick
>> > of
>> > each other and in fact thoroughly enjoy each others company during that
>> > time, that might be a good indication that you can hang together and
>> > might
>> > have a lot in common.  If you get married to this person, you have a
>> > 50/50
>> > chance - at the absolute very best - at making it the distance (death).
>> >
>> > I took a psychology class many years ago and the marriage statistics
>> > back
>> > then were bleak.  The prof categorized US marriages such that out of
>> > every
>> > 10 marriages: 5 of them ended in divorce, 2 of them stuck together
>> > because
>> > of convenience, 1 of them was a dead marriage, 1 stuck together for the
>> > sake
>> > of their kids, and 1 was a happy marriage.  The moral of the story was
>> > that
>> > you had a 10% chance of being happily married - and I guess you just
>> > hope to
>> > God that your spouse is equally happily married otherwise he/she can
>> > simply
>> > just say 'bye-bye' and there's not a whole heck of a lot you can do to
>> > keep
>> > your marriage from dissolving like so many of them do.
>> >
>> > By the way, I've never bought into the idea that 'relationships are
>> > work' -
>> > except for bad ones.  Those can be a frustratingly pile of work.  Why
>> > bother?  Life is too short to be stuck in a crappy relationship.
>> >
>> > Best wishes in finding your soul mate!
>> >
>> > -Scott
>> >
>> >
>> > Date: Wed, 18 Jul 2012 17:43:41 -0700
>> > From: donovanjarnold2005 at yahoo.com
>> > To: vision2020 at moscow.com
>> > Subject: [Vision2020] Ques. For you: What is Most Important in a
>> > Relationship?
>> >
>> > I was wondering what people look for in a life partner, what standards
>> > do
>> > they have.
>> >
>> > What is most important in a relationship?
>> >
>> > What character traits do you look for?
>> >
>> > What are the deal breakers, in terms of looks, behavior, and attitude?
>> >
>> > What about looks vs. personality? Would you be willing to have a partner
>> > you
>> > know you would not find that attractive in the near future, but they had
>> > a
>> > loving character and personality?
>> >
>> > How about their health, would you continue to be with someone even if
>> > you
>> > knew they would leave you old and alone? Would you stay with them and do
>> > that to them?
>> >
>> > What about financial success? Do they need to be at a certain level, or
>> > is
>> > any financial situation OK with a partner you love?
>> >
>> > People that got divorced, what do you suggest would make a relationship
>> > last, not last?
>> >
>> > How much are you allowed to demand from your partner, and how much
>> > should
>> > you be willing to change for them?
>> >
>> > How about fidelity? Would you marry if you thought you could not be
>> > faithful, or you felt they would not be? How about infidelity after,
>> > should
>> > it end, or accepted?
>> >
>> > Does the idea of being faithful, and being 50/50 partners with person
>> > for
>> > the rest of your life, for better or worse scare you?
>> >
>> > I know these are kind of personal, and you can be vague, but I am kinda
>> > wondering if other people think and feel about these issues the same as
>> > I
>> > do. I've never seriously thought about this stuff before because I was
>> > young, and marriage was illegal for me until recently. It wasn't really
>> > in
>> > the cards until now.  Now that I am getting older and marriage is an
>> > actual
>> > choice, this is kind of new for me so I have not had the opportunity to
>> > consider and experience these things like many of you have been
>> > fortunate/unfortunate to have done for your entire life. Any insights
>> > you
>> > can give me would be appreciated.
>> >
>> >
>> > Donovan J. Arnold
>> >
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>> =======================================================
>>  List services made available by First Step Internet,
>>  serving the communities of the Palouse since 1994.
>>                http://www.fsr.net
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>
>
> =======================================================
> List services made available by First Step Internet,
> serving the communities of the Palouse since 1994.
>               http://www.fsr.net
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