[Vision2020] Why Parents Drink

[Tom Hansen]

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was
nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped
up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.' 

 

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and
read the letter. 

 

Dear Dad: 

 

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with
my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. 

 

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. 

 

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing,
tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I
am. But it' s not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant. 

 

Stacy said that we will be very happy. 

 

She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole
winter. We share a dream of having many more children. 

 

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt
anyone.  We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other
people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. 

 

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy
can get better.  She deserves it. 

 

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. 

 

Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know
your grandchildren. 

 

Love, Your Son John 

 

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.

 

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Seeya at Farmers Market and Palouse Pride in the Park, Moscow.

 

Tom Hansen

Moscow, Idaho

 

"Corporations are an oppressed minority forced to move headquarters from
state to state in search of friendlier tax codes--sometimes being forced to
live just off our shores in tiny mailboxes." 

 

- John Oliver, The Daily Show

 

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