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<p class=MsoNormal>A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see
that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope,
propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.' <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal>With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling
hands and read the letter. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal>Dear Dad: <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal>It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I
had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom
and you. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal>I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so
nice. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal>But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her
piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older
than I am. But it' s not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal>Stacy said that we will be very happy. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal>She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood
for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal>Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't
really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the
other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal>In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure
for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal>Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of
myself. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal>Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you
can get to know your grandchildren. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal>Love, Your Son John <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal>PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's
house.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal>Seeya at Farmers Market and Palouse Pride in the Park,
Moscow.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal>Tom Hansen<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal>Moscow, Idaho<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"'>"Corporations
are an oppressed minority forced to move headquarters from state to state in
search of friendlier tax codes--sometimes being forced to live just off our shores
in tiny mailboxes." <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"'><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"'>- John
Oliver, The Daily Show<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
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