[Vision2020] Do You Speak Palinese?

[Tom Hansen]

The following essay (author unknown) was contributed by Ralph Nielsen -

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Do you speak Palinese???
- Author Unknown

If you're a minority and you're selected for a job over more qualified 
candidates you're a "token hire."
 
If you're a conservative and you're selected for a job over more qualified 
candidates you're a "game changer."
 
If you grow up in Hawaii you're "exotic."
 
If you grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, you're the 
quintessential "American story."
 
If you name your kid Barack you're "unpatriotic."
 
If you name your kid Track, you're "colorful."
 
If you're a Democrat and you make a VP pick without fully vetting the 
individual you're "reckless."
 
If you are a Republican who doesn't fully vet you're a "maverick."
 
If you spend 3 years as a community organizer growing your organization 
from a staff of 1 to 13 and your budget from $70,000 to $400,000, then 
become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter 
registration drive that registers 150,000 new African Amerian voters, 
spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, then spend nearly 8 more 
years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, 
becoming chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services 
committee, then spend nearly 4 years in the United States Senate 
representing a state of nearly 13 million people, sponsoring 131 bills and 
serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's 
Affairs committees, you are woefully inexperienced.
 
If you spend 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a 
town with less than 7,000 people, then spend 20 months as the governor of 
a state with 650,000 people, then you've got the most executive experience 
of anyone on either ticket, are the Commander in Chief of the Alaska 
military and are well qualified to lead the nation should you be called 
upon to do so because your state is the closest state to Russia.
 
If you are a Democratic male candidate who is popular with millions of 
people you are an "arrogant celebrity".
 
If you are a popular Republican female candidate you are "energizing the 
base".
 
If you are a younger male candidate who thinks for himself and makes his 
own decisions you are "presumptuous".
 
If you are an older male candidate who makes last minute decisions you 
refuse to explain, you are a "shoot from the hip" maverick.
 
If you are a candidate with a Harvard law degree you are "an elitist-out 
of touch" with the real America.
 
If you are a legacy (dad and granddad were admirals) graduate of 
Annapolis, with multiple disciplinary infractions and near bottom of your 
class, you are a "patriot".
 
If you manage a multi-million dollar nationwide campaign, you are 
an "empty suit".
 
If you are a part time mayor of a town of 7000 people, you are 
an "experienced executive".
 
If you go to a south side Chicago church, your beliefs are "extremist".
 
If you don't believe global warming is man made, you are "strongly 
principled".
 
If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your 
disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a "take 
charge" guy.
 
If you have been married to the same woman with whom you've been wed to 
for 19 years and raised 2 beautiful daughters with, you're "risky".
 
If you're a black single mother of 4 who waits for 22 hours after her 
water breaks to seek medical attention, you're an irresponsible parent, 
endangering the life of your unborn child. 
 
If you're a white married mother who waits 22 hours, you're "spunky".
 
If you're a 13-year-old Chelsea Clinton, the right-wing press calls 
you "First dog."
 
If you're a 17-year old pregnant unwed daughter of a Republican, the 
corporate-controlled media calls you "beautiful" and "courageous."
 
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Seeya round town, Moscow.

Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho
 
"We're a town of about 23,000 with 10,000 college students. The college 
students are not very active in local elections (thank goodness!)."

- Dale Courtney (March 28, 2007)


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