[Vision2020] Actor Chuck Norris Finds New Career

Art Deco deco at moscow.com
Fri Apr 28 09:26:49 PDT 2006


The following news item is offered as a counterpoint to the well-informed, kind, saccharine, saintly Christian posts of Mr. Ed, Cowboy Dick, and Timeless Tony.

Area Man, president of The International Chuck Norris Fan Club and Wattle Concession, is hereby granted permission to post this startling news on the fan club website.


      Actor Chuck Norris Finds New Career


      By Juan Donatelo, Reuters


      Washington, DC - Acknowledging that toilsome years of acting have failed to kill his great pain and suffering, actor Chuck Norris provided a glimpse of the fruits of his new career.


      Early in his career Norris was a fellow Mouseketeer with Annette Funicello.  He recently acknowledged that he has carried a soul consuming, agonizing torch for Funicello since they split over a disagreement about the sexual proclivities of Richard Nixon.


      Immersing himself in the arduous task of acting for fifty years did not kill or even ameliorate the pain of their separation, Norris admits.


      After years of unsuccessful Schwarz-Bendleix therapy, Norris has taken up a whole new career to assuage his grief -- sculpturing.  He says that the pain he formerly felt is now quickly disappearing as the focused exercise of his creative energies expiates the loss of his former love.


      Norris's success at sculpturing has been phenomenal.  Critics have universally praised his bold, innovative, torturously self-revealing approach and his uncanny ability to capture in abstract form the subtleties of many conflicting emotions.


      Today, a daring exhibition of many of Norris's more avant-garde pieces opens at the National Gallery of Art.


      A preview of this exhibition has brought nothing but almost fulsome raves from art critics from all over the world.


      His Angst of 21st Century Man has been proclaimed an instant masterpiece.  Critic Nelda Douche describes this work as a "shattering evocation of the total helplessness of humankind in the face of the complex rigors of our age ... a totally new way of using abstract form to reach and to scratch painfully at the inner depths of the viewer's soul."


      A photograph of the miraculous, truly innovative Angst of 21st Century Man can be found at National Gallery of Art: Norris: Angst of 21st Century Man.

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