[Vision2020] Hurricane Fran!

[Joan Opyr]

Dear Visionaries:

Here's the correction to the correction of my "foot in mouth disease" post.  The Clinton-era hurricanes I meant to cite were Hugo and Fran, not Hugo and Andrew.  Fran struck in September of 1996, and my sister points out that I should have remembered the name because she and the rest of my family were without power for several days.  Trees and power lines were down all over my grandmother's neighborhood, so, though they live only a five or six miles away, it was impossible for my mother and sisters to reach her.  (My grandmother was then in her seventies, but don't tell her I told you.  At 83, she's still wearing a corset and maintaining her figure with Slim Fast.)

Hurricane Fran.  How could I forget?  FYI, counting Katrina, only four Category 5 hurricanes have ever made landfall in the US.  The worst hurricane, in terms of death toll, was the 1900 storm that killed 6000 people in Galveston, TX.  I suppose I could check all of this info with NOAA, but my sister, Micheal, is always right, and besides, she might hit me.  I have two sisters; Micheal is the mean one.  (Yeah, you thought I was the mean one, didn't you?  Ha!  You don't know mean!  But I love my sister, even if she does live in a big scary castle with a bunch of flying monkeys.)

Joan Opyr/Auntie Establishment
www.auntie-establishment.com

Speaking of flying monkeys, a note to Donovan Arnold: 

Yes, you can make a career out of being a bitchy queen, but first you must work on your witty and stinging repartee.  I'm sorry, honey, but you are no Quentin Crisp.  You're not even a Cocoa Crisp.  Second, you should wait for Joan Rivers and Mr. Blackwell to die.  Then, with your jeans flying at half-mast, forever mourning the great bitches of America, you will at last be ready to take on the Red Carpet.  Stick a sparkler in your crack, and you go, girl!  

(Now, try not to be too disappointed.  I know, you're middle-aged and time is a'wasting, but think of it this way -- that's time you can use to learn nothing in graduate school!)