[Vision2020] Bugger Moscow (was "Not a city resident")

[Joan Opyr]

On Oct 2, 2005, at 8:20 AM, josephc at mail.wsu.edu wrote:

> For the record, I live in Moscow and I am happy to have Rose and Joan 
> and Melynda share their opinions about the town. And not just because 
> I tend
> to agree with them. What we need is more discourse about Moscow, not 
> less of it. We should be grateful to get any feedback that we get, 
> whether we
> agree with it or not.

Dear Joe and other Visionaries:

Actually, I've changed my mind.  Donovan's right.  Bugger Moscow.  Why 
should I care?  Sure, I live in the 83843 zipcode, and my kids attend 
Moscow public schools, but I'm done giving a damn about the town and 
what happens there.  I am so done, in fact, that I refuse to shop in 
Moscow anymore.  I'll stop buying my clothes at Tri-State; I'll buy 
them from the Orvis catalog instead.  I can also order my .30-06 deer 
ammo and my 20 gauge turkey shot online from The Sportsman's Guide, and 
I can get my hunting license and my tags from the Troy Market.  (They 
appreciate my business at the Troy Market.  They tell me so every time 
I shop there.)  Of course, I'll also have to give up going to the Slurp 
& Burp, and Mikey's Gyros, and Wheatberries, and The Red Door, but Troy 
has the White Pine Cafe and the Dog House Saloon, so I'll be fine.  
I've learned that gas at the Troy Conoco costs exactly the same as gas 
at Moscow's Tesoro station, and they sell the very same Powerball 
tickets!

Troy has a nice little Post Office.  No lines, ever.  And if I need 
anything else -- anything whatsoever -- I'll just drive down to the 
Clarkston Costco, or up to Spokane's World Market, or I'll order it 
over the Internet.  Sorry Bob, sorry Betsy -- I love BookPeople, but 
I'll just have to wait those few extra days to get my books from 
Amazon.com.  Now, according to my Visa and American Express card 
statements, my decision to stop interfering in Moscow business will 
cost retail establishments in the city about $15,000 per year.  But 
what's $15,000?  Peanuts!  I'm sure those businesses will survive.  The 
Co-Op doesn't need me, and neither does Wild Women Traders, or Hodgins, 
or The One World.  Nope, Moscow businesses will be fine without me -- 
unless, of course, I can convince others who live outside of city 
limits but within the city's sphere of influence to follow my example.  
Oh, wait!  I bought a new car at Paradise Ford a few months ago . . . 
better add $27,000 to that original $15,000.  But heck, they sell cars 
down in Lewiston, don't they?

Please tell your uncle, Donovan, that I'll be returning a coat, two 
pairs of shoes, four pairs of Elder hiking socks, a pair of Carhartt 
overalls, some kitchenwares and a packet of beef jerky to Tri-State 
this afternoon.  I've bought them all in the last month, so they've 
hardly been used.  Well, except for the beef jerky.  I opened that, but 
it was really salty, and since I regret all of my Moscow purchases, 
maybe your uncle will cut me some slack.  As for my kids and their 
attendance in the Moscow public schools, what are they learning there, 
anyway?  Math and English and crap like that.  Who's going to teach 
them the really important things, like the true age of the earth (6000 
years), Intelligent Design, and the beauty of female submission?  From 
now on, I will disengage.  I'll just load the kids up with pens and 
pencils and send them off without so much as a fare-thee-well.

I'm not selling any of that damned fundraiser wrapping paper for them, 
I can tell you that!

Joan Opyr/Auntie Establishment
www.auntie-establishment.com