[Vision2020] Nostra Damn It predicts!

[Joan Opyr]

Dear Visionaries:

I don't believe that I have ever had occasion to mention my gypsy ancestress on this list.  Her name was Motruna Augustyne, and, at the turn of the century, she emigrated first from the Ukraine to Poland, and then from Poland to Montreal, Canada.  Motruna Augustyne was the village witch.  She removed (and occasionally cast) the evil eye, cured warts, helped ensure fertility, or the lack thereof, and foretold the future.  And what do you know, dear Visionaries?  I have discovered that I've inherited her psychic powers!  Who'd a thunk?   

And so here, for the very first time, I, Nostra Damn It Opyr, the direct descendant of the great Madame Augustyne, will attempt to pierce the misty veil and predict the outcome of several local questions, concerns, and events:

1. The Moscow City Council will gather in a smoky back room with City Attorney Randy Fife and, over a game of Texas Hold 'Em played with Tarot cards, they will find some way, any way, to grant the New St. Andrews College an exemption from the Central Business District zoning rules.  Why?  Because Doug Wilson is connected to the Old Boy Network via the Kimmell umbilical.  The Old Boy Network, or OBN for short, will not force one of its own to play by the rules.

2. The Latah County Commissioners will not declare a moratorium on any new Conditional Use Permits.  Why?  Because they have all been possessed by the spirit of Boss Hogg, and he keeps on telling 'em that "bidness is bidness."  It doesn't matter if the well runs dry, just so long as we create a few cheap jobs in the process, and we make a few crooked shell companies rich.

3. The Business Improvement District folk will not make any real effort to contact those businesses that are A) not part of Moscow's OBN and B) that might consequently say "no."  Instead, the BID folk will gather ONLY the fifty-percent plus one necessary to proceed, and the other forty-nine percent be damned.  (Wait.  Where have I heard this before?  Wasn't it from . . . George W. Bush?  Yes, that's right.  He claimed to have a 50.8% mandate.  Same thing, BID-wise.)

4. Nate Wilson will find the Ark of the Covenant in his father's garden shed.  It will be hidden beneath an old picnic blanket that looks strangely like Mother Theresa's veil.  Upon opening the Ark, Nate will discover that there were, in fact, twenty-seven commandments and that his father, Doug, had correctly guessed twenty-six of them.  (That one about not feeding a dog a chicken bone was a complete surprise.)
       
Wait . . . the mists are closing in on me now, and I have to go lie down.   

Over and out,

Joan Opyr/Auntie Establishment/Nostra Damn It  
www.auntie-establishment.comGet more from the Web.  FREE MSN Explorer download : http://explorer.msn.com
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