[Vision2020] Making the Financial Best of the New Year

[Art Deco]

Can you say "Selfish, parasitic, lying leeches!"?

Orwell's doublespeak is alive and well in Moscow:  Those that arrogantly dub themselves "Saints" are instead what most would call "Freeloading, bloodsucking defalcators" -- and in the name of ignorance and superstition.

Art Deco (Wayne A. Fox)
deco at moscow.com



----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Melynda Huskey" <melyndahuskey at earthlink.net>
To: "Vision 2020" <vision2020 at moscow.com>
Sent: Friday, December 30, 2005 11:30 PM
Subject: [Vision2020] Making the Financial Best of the New Year


> Dear Friends of Vision 2020,
> 
> January can be a financially sober month, can't it?  The thrill of the holidays evaporates, leaving a sheaf of bills behind.
> 
> In the interests of spreading financial solvency across Moscow, I'd like to invite everyone to take advantage of a scheme that I recently discovered at work right here in our fair city, and which appears to be entirely without negative consequences.  If this doesn't perk up your wallet, I don't know what will!
> 
> 1.  Start a boarding house.  Don't bother with a conditional use permit.  Just get two or three renters into your house--or more if your place'll hold 'em and you don't mind acing the neighbors out of all available parking.
> 
> 2.  Create a non-profit ministry in your home.  Give it a classy name, and register it with the Secretary of State.  Don't worry about actually filling out all that annoying paperwork and expense to become a 501(c)3; just assure the State of Idaho that you really are a non-profit.  They'll take your word for it.  And remember, only *you* define ministry.  Eating, talking, and reading can be acts of worship.  Heck, get your boarders to do yardwork or wash the dishes--I have it on the highest authority that "laborare orare est."
> 
> 3.  Wave that magic "non-profit" wand over the rent payments and watch them turn into "donations." Those people you used to call boarders?  Now they're "guests" who make tax-deductible donations to your ministry.  That way they get to claim their rent as a charitable deduction, and you get to take their rent as a donation to your ministry, not as income.  Everybody wins!
> 
> 4.  Convert every possible expense related to your home into costs for running your "ministry."  Hardwood floors need refinishing?  Glory to You-Know-Who!  New chairs for the Board Room?  You betcha!
> 
> 5.  If I were you, I'd go for the brass ring.  See if you can't convince the commissioners to give you a property tax exemption.  After all, a non-profit ministry is a non-profit ministry.  If the Ursuline nuns aren't paying, why shoudl you?  It's worth a try.  And if enough people do it, even Rose Huskey and Saundra Lund won't be able to keep up with the appeals.  You'll be home free.
> 
> Of course, at our house we've got a leg up on the whole process--Joan's already been ordained.  But the Universal Life Church stands ready to offer any of you all the same legally-binding ordination at the click of a mouse.  
> 
> Why delay?  Start this simple process today, and reap the cash-flow benefits your neighbor may already be enjoying.
> 
> Melynda Huskey
> 
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