[Vision2020] Hello, flock!

[Joan Opyr]

Doug writes:

>Rev. Joan has a very simple creed, consisting of just 21 words. 
>Unfortunately, she was not able to get through 21 words without asserting 
>contradictory tenets, thus setting the stage for a nasty church split down 
>the road.

Thus far, I am the only member of the Church of Auntie Establishment.  If 
the congregation splits, I'll have one hell of a headache.

>Someone, on the basis of the first sentence (let us call it the ULC Old 
>Testament) could decide that he hates religious freedom, and that this is 
>his right. He has every confidence that he has the right to make this 
>determination -- nay, the responsibility to make this determination. Hath 
>not Scripture said? But then along come these liberals, tinkering with the 
>sacred text, telling him that he *doesn't* have the right to determine 
>what's right. He is allowed to determine what's right just so long as he 
>doesn't TRANSGRESS the sacred tenets of the Second Sentence.

Oh, no; I've solved all that.  I'm not a literalist.  If a nice (and/or 
good-looking and bosomy) liberal comes along with a better idea, I am way 
open to conversation.  Not that I'm Jimmy Swaggart or anything . . .

>Since Joan the Law won't be taking questions Thursday night, here is a 
>question for late Monday. Everyone determines what is right according to 
>your first sentence. But according to the second sentence, there are 
>limits. What is the religious authority which you are requiring others to 
>obey as they respect those limits? Why are you imposing your religion on 
>other people?

I thought this might be tricky, but now that I'm a minister, I'm free to 
answer a question with a question.  (I wish you'd told me before what a hoot 
this preacher business is, Doug.  I'd have gotten ordained years ago.  Now 
where was I?  Oh, yes.)  Why is a mutually respectful pluralism an 
imposition on anyone?  How is the free practice of my religion -- let's call 
it Judeo-Joanism -- inimical to the free practice of Presbyterian Dougism?  
Is it because a fundamental tenet of your theology is the eradication of all 
opposing beliefs?  Is the religious freedom you desire the freedom to impose 
your beliefs on me without opposition or hindrance?

If that's the case, I'm afraid I can't help you.  To paraphrase Oscar 
Levant, there's a fine line between theology and delusion.  You have erased 
that line.

Ave atque vale,

Pope Joan
(The smoke from my chimney was white this evening, so I gave myself a 
promotion.)

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