[Vision2020] Republicans Blindsided That People Who Vote Believe in Democracy (SATIRE)

[Tom Hansen]

More Satire from the Borowitz Report
Republicans worry that midterm voters might believe that women deserve rights.
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Trump demands that the special master be replaced with an extra-special master.
The F.B.I. believes the MyPillow guy committed crimes beyond selling shitty pillows.
Lauren Boebert asserts that the Nineteenth Amendment doesn’t exist because “God gave Moses only Ten Amendments.”
Dr. Oz claims that eating classified documents was essential to Trump’s healthy diet.
Tucker Carlson accuses Joe Biden of lowering gas prices.
Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .

"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)
http://www.MoscowCares.net

Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho

“A stranger is just a friend you haven’t met.”
- Roy E. Stolworthy

> On Nov 14, 2022, at 7:59 AM, Tom Hansen <thansen at moscow.com> wrote:
> 
> 
> Courtesy of the New Yorker at:
> 
> https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/republicans-blindsided-that-people-who-vote-believe-in-democracy?utm_source=nl&utm_brand=tny&utm_mailing=TNY_Borowitz_11142022&utm_campaign=aud-dev&utm_medium=email&bxid=5bea112b3f92a40469640747&cndid=24494982&hasha=fcf5f751d983fab314fe7ded63633933&hashb=6018563f5ade416eb6bc5de029040538e8428a87&hashc=5b2de1b62cf02ee03360af7fdb18f191bd4d6e9c5ea1abaf4247b3b6d1a52533&esrc=article-newsletter&utm_term=TNY_Borowitz
> 
> —————————————————
> Republicans Blindsided That People Who Vote Believe in Democracy
> 
> WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—As they conduct a postmortem on the midterm elections, top Republicans have disclosed that they were “totally blindsided” that people who vote tend to believe in democracy.
> 
> According to Party officials, Republican strategists have been flabbergasted by exit polls indicating that voters who had just cast their ballots wanted those votes to be counted.
> 
> “In the run-up to Election Day, we believed that our message about ignoring the will of the people would strongly appeal to people,” Harland Dorrinson, a prominent G.O.P. strategist, said. “What we found instead was that people who participated in democracy were inclined to favor democracy. It’s a humbling reminder of just how unpredictable politics can be.”
> 
> Fearing that voters’ preference for voting could be more than a passing fad, Republicans have already started rethinking their 2024 strategy, Dorrinson said.
> 
> “We’re going to have to make it clear that we Republicans believe in elections, whether we do or not,” he said.
> 
> —————————————————
> 
> Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .
> 
> "Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)
> http://www.MoscowCares.net
> 
> Tom Hansen
> Moscow, Idaho
> 
> “A stranger is just a friend you haven’t met.”
> - Roy E. Stolworthy
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