<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div class="SectionTitleRoot-jsutOB isXeyF LinkStackHeader-jWtXqL jnksOk link-stack--heading" data-testid="SectionTitle" data-event-boundary="click" data-event-click="{"pattern":"SectionTitle"}" data-include-experiments="true" style="box-sizing: border-box; --divider-width: 1px; --section-ornament-top: 8px; --section-title-margin: 1rem; display: flex; row-gap: 0px; column-gap: 0px; -webkit-box-align: center; align-items: center; border-top: var(--divider-width) solid; --border-top-color__token-name: colors.discovery.body.white.divider; border-top-color: rgb(229, 229, 229); padding: 0rem; border-bottom: var(--divider-width) solid; --border-bottom-color__token-name: colors.discovery.body.white.border; border-bottom-color: rgb(229, 229, 229); grid-template-areas: "image hed link"; grid-template-columns: auto minmax(5em, 1fr) auto; flex-direction: row-reverse; -webkit-box-pack: end; justify-content: flex-end; margin-top: 1rem; margin-bottom: 1rem; font-family: TNYAdobeCaslonPro, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-size: 21px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;"><h2 class="BaseWrap-sc-UrHlS BaseText-fFrHpW SectionTitleHed-hYUwsC iyEtOJ cUnUH elwRnX" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; --type-token: consumptionEditorial.subhed-break-primary; font-family: IrvinHeadingWeb, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-feature-settings: normal; line-break: auto; line-height: 1.125em; font-size: 32px; font-weight: 400; overflow-wrap: normal; grid-row-start: hed; grid-column-start: hed; grid-row-end: hed; grid-column-end: hed; justify-self: start; padding: 0.5rem 0px;">More Satire from the Borowitz Report</h2></div><div class="LinkStackContent-hhlaSt eqfhtE" style="box-sizing: border-box; --type-token: consumptionEditorial.body-core; font-family: TNYAdobeCaslonPro, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-feature-settings: normal; line-break: auto; line-height: 1.5em; font-size: 21px; overflow-wrap: normal; --color__token-name: colors.consumption.body.standard.body; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;"><ul style="box-sizing: border-box; padding-left: 1rem;"><li class="LinkStackBullet-fPwVoK idocwm link-stack--link-item" data-testid="LinkStackBullet" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 1rem;"><div style="box-sizing: border-box;"><p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px;">Republicans worry that midterm voters <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/republicans-worry-that-midterm-voters-might-believe-women-deserve-rights" class="InternalLinkEmbedWrapper-dWnWEJ gWA-dXy" data-uri="a751df3d5d1810b7780f0dd16bb8a6d1" style="box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; --color__token-name: colors.interactive.base.light; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out 0s, background 0s ease 0s, text-shadow 0s ease 0s; text-decoration-line: underline;">might believe that women deserve rights</a>.</p></div></li><li class="LinkStackBullet-fPwVoK idocwm link-stack--link-item" data-testid="LinkStackBullet" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 1rem;"><div style="box-sizing: border-box;"><p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px;">The nation’s armed insurrectionists say that Biden’s <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/nations-armed-insurrectionists-say-bidens-speech-hurt-their-feelings" class="InternalLinkEmbedWrapper-dWnWEJ gWA-dXy" data-uri="c679e2f17572762339af4ba24d0ead9a" style="box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; --color__token-name: colors.interactive.base.light; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out 0s, background 0s ease 0s, text-shadow 0s ease 0s; text-decoration-line: underline;">pro-democracy speech hurt their feelings</a>.</p></div></li><li class="LinkStackBullet-fPwVoK idocwm link-stack--link-item" data-testid="LinkStackBullet" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 1rem;"><div style="box-sizing: border-box;"><p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px;">Trump demands that the special master be <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-demands-special-master-be-fired-and-replaced-with-extra-special-master" class="InternalLinkEmbedWrapper-dWnWEJ gWA-dXy" data-uri="97263c9a5abd27e8a6882930ff184c97" style="box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; --color__token-name: colors.interactive.base.light; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out 0s, background 0s ease 0s, text-shadow 0s ease 0s; text-decoration-line: underline;">replaced with an extra-special master</a>.</p></div></li><li class="LinkStackBullet-fPwVoK idocwm link-stack--link-item" data-testid="LinkStackBullet" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 1rem;"><div style="box-sizing: border-box;"><p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px;">The F.B.I. believes the MyPillow guy committed crimes <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/fbi-believes-mypillow-guy-committed-crimes-beyond-selling-shitty-pillows" class="InternalLinkEmbedWrapper-dWnWEJ gWA-dXy" data-uri="1708ccab5d89e0cb7d2f58d65208c4a4" style="box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; --color__token-name: colors.interactive.base.light; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out 0s, background 0s ease 0s, text-shadow 0s ease 0s; text-decoration-line: underline;">beyond selling shitty pillows</a>.</p></div></li><li class="LinkStackBullet-fPwVoK idocwm link-stack--link-item" data-testid="LinkStackBullet" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 1rem;"><div style="box-sizing: border-box;"><p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px;">Lauren Boebert asserts that the Nineteenth Amendment doesn’t exist because “<a href="https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/lauren-boebert-claims-nineteenth-amendment-does-not-exist-because-god-gave-moses-only-ten-amendments" class="InternalLinkEmbedWrapper-dWnWEJ gWA-dXy" data-uri="e5ab193f596f529d5a1ddcc0949a196b" style="box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; --color__token-name: colors.interactive.base.light; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out 0s, background 0s ease 0s, text-shadow 0s ease 0s; text-decoration-line: underline;">God gave Moses only Ten Amendments</a>.”</p></div></li><li class="LinkStackBullet-fPwVoK idocwm link-stack--link-item" data-testid="LinkStackBullet" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 1rem;"><div style="box-sizing: border-box;"><p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px;">Dr. Oz claims that eating classified documents was <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/dr-oz-claims-that-eating-classified-documents-was-essential-to-trumps-healthy-diet" class="InternalLinkEmbedWrapper-dWnWEJ gWA-dXy" data-uri="17bd3b8f5362db941afd92c960e53f5b" style="box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; --color__token-name: colors.interactive.base.light; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out 0s, background 0s ease 0s, text-shadow 0s ease 0s; text-decoration-line: underline;">essential to Trump’s healthy diet</a>.</p></div></li><li class="LinkStackBullet-fPwVoK idocwm link-stack--link-item" data-testid="LinkStackBullet" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 1rem;"><div style="box-sizing: border-box;"><p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px;">Tucker Carlson accuses Joe Biden of <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/tucker-carlson-accuses-biden-of-lowering-gas-prices" class="InternalLinkEmbedWrapper-dWnWEJ gWA-dXy" data-uri="990a4ee157c805d5242c5c3b04d8500a" style="box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; --color__token-name: colors.interactive.base.light; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out 0s, background 0s ease 0s, text-shadow 0s ease 0s; text-decoration-line: underline;">lowering gas prices</a>.</p></div></li></ul></div><div dir="ltr"><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">http://www.MoscowCares.net</span></div><div><br></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div><br></div><div>“A stranger is just a friend you haven’t met.”</div><div>- Roy E. Stolworthy</div><div></div></div><div dir="ltr"><br><blockquote type="cite">On Nov 14, 2022, at 7:59 AM, Tom Hansen <thansen@moscow.com> wrote:<br><br></blockquote></div><blockquote type="cite"><div dir="ltr"><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><div>Courtesy of the <i>New Yorker</i> at:</div><div><br></div><div><a href="https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/republicans-blindsided-that-people-who-vote-believe-in-democracy?utm_source=nl&utm_brand=tny&utm_mailing=TNY_Borowitz_11142022&utm_campaign=aud-dev&utm_medium=email&bxid=5bea112b3f92a40469640747&cndid=24494982&hasha=fcf5f751d983fab314fe7ded63633933&hashb=6018563f5ade416eb6bc5de029040538e8428a87&hashc=5b2de1b62cf02ee03360af7fdb18f191bd4d6e9c5ea1abaf4247b3b6d1a52533&esrc=article-newsletter&utm_term=TNY_Borowitz">https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/republicans-blindsided-that-people-who-vote-believe-in-democracy?utm_source=nl&utm_brand=tny&utm_mailing=TNY_Borowitz_11142022&utm_campaign=aud-dev&utm_medium=email&bxid=5bea112b3f92a40469640747&cndid=24494982&hasha=fcf5f751d983fab314fe7ded63633933&hashb=6018563f5ade416eb6bc5de029040538e8428a87&hashc=5b2de1b62cf02ee03360af7fdb18f191bd4d6e9c5ea1abaf4247b3b6d1a52533&esrc=article-newsletter&utm_term=TNY_Borowitz</a></div><div><br></div><div>—————————————————</div><div><h1 data-testid="ContentHeaderHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-UrHlS BaseText-fFrHpW ContentHeaderHed-kpDkgd boMZdO jCLxSV bxWbTA" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 44.20000076293945px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; --type-token: consumptionEditorial.hed-standard; font-family: IrvinHeadingWeb, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-feature-settings: normal; line-break: auto; line-height: 1.130090495492055em; font-weight: 400; overflow-wrap: normal; transition-property: color, background, text-shadow; transition-duration: 0.2s; transition-timing-function: ease-in-out; cursor: unset; grid-column-start: 1; grid-column-end: span 8; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Republicans Blindsided That People Who Vote Believe in Democracy</h1></div><div><br></div><div><p style="margin-right: 0in; margin-left: 0in; font-size: medium; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; margin-top: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">WASHINGTON (<a href="http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report" data-uri="ad590b1f995f8441e559e6d657f7d00b" style="color: rgb(149, 79, 114); box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; --color__token-name: colors.interactive.base.light; transition: color 200ms ease 0s; line-height: inherit; text-decoration-line: underline;"><span style="color: black;">The Borowitz Report</span></a>)—As they conduct a postmortem on the midterm elections, top Republicans have disclosed that they were “totally blindsided” that people who vote tend to believe in democracy.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="paywall" style="margin-right: 0in; margin-left: 0in; font-size: medium; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; box-sizing: border-box; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">According to Party officials, Republican strategists have been flabbergasted by exit polls indicating that voters who had just cast their ballots wanted those votes to be counted.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="paywall" style="margin-right: 0in; margin-left: 0in; font-size: medium; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; box-sizing: border-box; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">“In the run-up to Election Day, we believed that our message about ignoring the will of the people would strongly appeal to people,” Harland Dorrinson, a prominent G.O.P. strategist, said. “What we found instead was that people who participated in democracy were inclined to favor democracy. It’s a humbling reminder of just how unpredictable politics can be.”<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="paywall" style="margin-right: 0in; margin-left: 0in; font-size: medium; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Fearing that voters’ preference for voting could be more than a passing fad, Republicans have already started rethinking their 2024 strategy, Dorrinson said.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="paywall" style="margin-right: 0in; margin-left: 0in; font-size: medium; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; box-sizing: border-box; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">“We’re going to have to make it clear that we Republicans believe in elections, whether we do or not,” he said.</span></p></div>—————————————————<br><br><div dir="ltr"><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">http://www.MoscowCares.net</span></div><div><br></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div><br></div><div>“A stranger is just a friend you haven’t met.”</div><div>- Roy E. Stolworthy</div><div></div></div></div></blockquote></body></html>