[Vision2020] Trump Praises Woodrow Wilson for Opposing Online Learning During 1918 Pandemic (SATIRE)

Tom Hansen thansen at moscow.com
Wed Aug 12 05:01:08 PDT 2020

Courtesy of the New Yorker at:


Trump Praises Woodrow Wilson for Opposing Online Learning During 1918 Pandemic

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a rare instance of praising one of his White House predecessors, Donald J. Trump on Tuesday hailed Woodrow Wilson for opposing efforts to institute online learning during the 1918 pandemic.

“There were a lot of crybabies in 1918 saying, ‘The schools aren’t safe—let the kids learn on their computers,’ ” Trump told reporters at the White House. “Woody wouldn’t hear of it.”

Instead, Trump said, “Kids went to school and the influenza just kind of disappeared eventually. Woody did a fantastic job.”

Trump added that, during the 1918 pandemic, “The hallways of schools were jammed with kids. I wish one of those kids had taken a picture with his phone so we could see it today.”

Wilson’s opposition to online learning inspired Trump to demand in-person schooling for all American children, he revealed.

“It’s important for them to be in school so they can be as knowledgeable about history as I am,” he said. “The pandemic of 1918 was one of the main causes of the War of 1812.”


Raise your voice and vote, Moscow, because . . .

"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)
Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho

“You’re a Mean One, Mr. Trump”
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