[Vision2020] Pence Asks Jesus to Rapture Him Up Before Mueller Can Indict Him (SATIRE)

[g crabtree]

Comedy, even in its most debatable form, requires timeliness.
You're a day late and 4.6 million dollars short with this attempted witticism.

g

On Sat, Mar 23, 2019 at 6:46 AM Tom Hansen <thansen at moscow.com> wrote:
>
> Courtesy of the New Yorker at:
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> https://tinyurl.com/Pence-Takes-Action
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> Pence Asks Jesus to Rapture Him Up Before Mueller Can Indict Him
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> WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Vice-President Mike Pence has requested that Jesus Christ rapture him up before the special counsel Robert Mueller can indict him, a source close to Pence confirmed on Friday.
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> Shortly after the former national-security adviser Michael Flynn pleaded guilty to lying to the F.B.I., Pence contacted Jesus to discuss the early rapture proposal, the source said.
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> The source characterized Pence’s request to be raptured up as “urgent” but did not indicate whether the Vice-President asked Jesus to rapture up any other senior Administration officials.
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> “Some of these people will have to be left behind, for obvious reasons,” the source said. “Jared, for example.”
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> After the news of Pence’s conversation with Jesus leaked to the press, the Vice-President released an official statement, intended to tamp down speculation about his rapture request.
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> “I had a good conversation with Jesus Christ earlier in the day,” the statement read. “We touched on the timetable of my rapturing-up, along with a broad range of other issues. That is all I have to say at the present time.”
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> Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .
>
> "Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)
> http://www.MoscowCares.com
>
> Tom Hansen
> Moscow, Idaho
>
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