[Vision2020] If you only had a dog . . .

Tom Hansen thansen at moscow.com
Mon Jul 1 05:11:43 PDT 2019

“If You Only Had a Dog” by Parody Project


(Crank it up and sing along . . .)

You might be a better leader 

with a Labrador retriever

and not a demagogue.

Take the time to walk a Yorky,
‘cause you wouldn’t be so porky

if you only had a dog.

If a puppy on a leash meant 

you’d be further from impeachment

you’d change your monologue.

With a Collie, you’d be calmer 

than your nemesis Obama

if you only had a dog.

We prayed they had you spayed

so you might settle down
Get us off this
They’ll do it free . . . down at the pound.

In a year from next November, 

we’ll be free of your distemper

and drain the swamp you clogged.

With a Corgi like the Queen,

you just might not be so mean,

if you only had a dog.

You would not be just a nothin’
with your head all full of stuffin’
your heart all in a clog.
And perhaps you would deserve us
and even be worthy of us
if you only had a dog.

Perhaps you’d have some honor

if you raised a Weimaraner

with a better epilogue.
‘cause you just might have been nicer
to Comey, Cohen, and Spicer
if you only had a dog.

A troubleshooter would have you neutered
just to keep your feet down on the ground
Why not get yourself an Afghan Hound?
They might be free down at the pound.

Things wouldn’t be so goofy

if you were to raise a Newfy.

They’re in the catalog.

With a trusty Irish Setter,
everything would soon be better
if you only had a dog.

You might be tender, even gentle
and maybe sentimental
not in a hazy fog.
Not attacking other nations
but improving our relations
if you only had a dog.

If only we could make you see
how badly you expound,
we could fix it with a Basset Hound.
And once again, they’re at the pound.

You might be a better leader
with a Labrador Retriever,
and not a demagogue.
And the world would be merrier,

so befriend a Boston Terrier.

Please go get yourself a dog.


Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .

"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)
Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho

“You’re a Mean One, Mr. Trump”

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