<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div dir="ltr"><span></span></div><div dir="ltr"><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><div dir="ltr"><span></span></div><div dir="ltr"><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><div dir="ltr"><span></span></div><div dir="ltr"><div dir="ltr"><span></span></div><div dir="ltr"><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><div dir="ltr"><p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><b>“If You Only Had a Dog” </b>by Parody Project</span></p></div><div dir="ltr"><br></div><div dir="ltr"><a href="https://youtu.be/Tn3MX1THDec">https://youtu.be/Tn3MX1THDec</a></div><br><b><i>(Crank it up and sing along . . .)</i></b></div><div dir="ltr"><b><i><br></i></b></div><div dir="ltr"><div dir="ltr">You might be a better leader
</div><div dir="ltr">with a Labrador retriever</div><div dir="ltr">
and not a demagogue.
</div><div dir="ltr">Take the time to walk a Yorky,</div><div dir="ltr">‘cause you wouldn’t be so porky</div><div dir="ltr">
if you only had a dog.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div><div dir="ltr">If a puppy on a leash meant
</div><div dir="ltr">you’d be further from impeachment
</div><div dir="ltr">you’d change your monologue.
</div><div dir="ltr">With a Collie, you’d be calmer
</div><div dir="ltr">than your nemesis Obama
</div><div dir="ltr">if you only had a dog.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div><div dir="ltr">We prayed they had you spayed
</div><div dir="ltr">so you might settle down
;</div><div dir="ltr">Get us off this
merry-go-round.</div><div dir="ltr">They’ll do it free . . . down at the pound.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div><div dir="ltr">In a year from next November,
</div><div dir="ltr">we’ll be free of your distemper
</div><div dir="ltr">and drain the swamp you clogged.
</div><div dir="ltr">With a Corgi like the Queen,</div><div dir="ltr">
you just might not be so mean,
</div><div dir="ltr">if you only had a dog.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div><div dir="ltr">You would not be just a nothin’</div><div dir="ltr">with your head all full of stuffin’</div><div dir="ltr">your heart all in a clog.</div><div dir="ltr">And perhaps you would deserve us</div><div dir="ltr">and even be worthy of us</div><div dir="ltr">if you only had a dog.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div><div dir="ltr">Perhaps you’d have some honor</div><div dir="ltr">
if you raised a Weimaraner
</div><div dir="ltr">with a better epilogue.</div><div dir="ltr">‘cause you just might have been nicer</div><div dir="ltr">to Comey, Cohen, and Spicer</div><div dir="ltr">if you only had a dog.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div><div dir="ltr">A troubleshooter would have you neutered</div><div dir="ltr">just to keep your feet down on the ground</div><div dir="ltr">Why not get yourself an Afghan Hound?</div><div dir="ltr">They might be free down at the pound.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div><div dir="ltr">Things wouldn’t be so goofy</div><div dir="ltr">
if you were to raise a Newfy.
</div><div dir="ltr">They’re in the catalog.
</div><div dir="ltr">With a trusty Irish Setter,</div><div dir="ltr">everything would soon be better</div><div dir="ltr">if you only had a dog.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div><div dir="ltr">You might be tender, even gentle</div><div dir="ltr">and maybe sentimental</div><div dir="ltr">not in a hazy fog.</div><div dir="ltr">Not attacking other nations</div><div dir="ltr">but improving our relations</div><div dir="ltr">if you only had a dog.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div><div dir="ltr">If only we could make you see</div><div dir="ltr">how badly you expound,</div><div dir="ltr">we could fix it with a Basset Hound.</div><div dir="ltr">And once again, they’re at the pound.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div><div dir="ltr">You might be a better leader</div><div dir="ltr">with a Labrador Retriever,</div><div dir="ltr">and not a demagogue.</div><div dir="ltr">And the world would be merrier,</div><div dir="ltr">
so befriend a Boston Terrier.
</div><div dir="ltr">Please go get yourself a dog.</div><br>———————————————<br><br><div dir="ltr" id="AppleMailSignature"><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">“You’re a Mean One, Mr. Trump”</span></div><div><a href="http://www.tomandrodna.com/MoscowCares/Songs/Donald_Trump/Youre_a_Mean_One_Mr_Trump.mp3">http://www.tomandrodna.com/MoscowCares/Songs/Donald_Trump/Youre_a_Mean_One_Mr_Trump.mp3</a></div><div><br></div></div></div></div></div></div></body></html>