[Vision2020] Tillerson Caught Under Trump’s Desk Disconnecting Button (SATIRE)

[Darrell Keim]

If this were true, Tillerson would be a national hero!

On Wed, Jan 3, 2018 at 11:57 AM, Tom Hansen <thansen at moscow.com> wrote:

> Courtesy of the *New Yorker *at:
>
> https://tinyurl.com/Tillerson-Caught-Under-Desk
>
> ———————————————
> Tillerson Caught Under Trump’s Desk Disconnecting Button
>
> WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Secretary of State Rex Tillerson was
> caught crouching under Donald J. Trump’s Oval Office desk on Wednesday, in
> an attempt to disconnect Trump’s newly installed nuclear button.
>
> The button, reportedly measuring a massive eight inches in diameter, has
> been a subject of considerable alarm for Trump’s national-security team
> since he had it installed on his desk, earlier in the week.
>
> According to White House sources, Tillerson, Secretary of Defense Jim
> Mattis, and the national-security adviser H. R. McMaster drew straws late
> Tuesday night to determine who would carry out the high-stakes
> disconnection mission.
>
> After Tillerson drew the shortest straw, he decided to enter the Oval
> Office surreptitously Wednesday morning while Trump took a bathroom break.
>
> The Secretary of State had crawled under the desk and was on the verge of
> disconnecting the gigantic button when he was surprised by the sudden
> entrance of Vice-President Mike Pence, who had arrived to deliver his daily
> praise of Trump.
>
> Flustered, Tillerson muttered something about “looking for my glasses” and
> quickly exited.
>
> Tillerson, who suffered a gash to the head when he bumped it on Trump’s
> desk, was resting comfortably at Walter Reed Army Medical Center, where he
> was heard repeatedly mumbling the words “button” and “moron.”
>
> ———————————————
>
> Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .
>
> "Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)
> http://www.MoscowCares.com <http://www.moscowcares.com/>
>
> Tom Hansen
> Moscow, Idaho
>
>
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