[Vision2020] Fwd: ADV: Happy New Year from Mueller

[Tom Hansen]

Begin forwarded message:

> From: The Borowitz Report <NewYorker at newsletter.newyorker.com>
> Date: December 31, 2018 at 6:49:17 AM PST
> To: thansen at moscow.com
> Subject: ADV: Happy New Year from Mueller
> Reply-To: NewYorker at newsletter.newyorker.com
> 
> 
> Special holiday wishes from the special counsel, Robert Mueller, to Borowitz Report readers.
> View this email in your browser  
>  
> My fellow-Americans,
> As we count down to the New Year, I think I know exactly what would make 2019 super happy for you! (Believe me, I’m working on it.)
> Meanwhile, I thought I’d ring out the old by sharing some of my favorite Borowitz Reports from 2018. There were so many to choose from that it was hard to pick an “individual one.” (Get it? LOL.) I hope you enjoy these stories. And remember: if you have any hot tips for me in 2019, call my toll-free number, 1-800-tellbob. (Oh, and don’t give me any tips on Don, Jr. I already have enough on him.)
> Cheers!
> Robert Mueller
> Satire from The Borowitz Report
> Trump Family Flees to Moscow
> Trump reportedly was in a tremendous hurry to catch the plane and left behind only a one-sentence note, reading, “THERE WAS NO COLUSION [sic].”
> By Andy Borowitz
> 
> Satire from The Borowitz Report
> Republicans Projected to Pick up Seventy Seats in Prison
> According to his projections, Republicans are running for prison “especially well” in districts where the G.O.P. member of Congress was an early supporter of Donald J. Trump.
> By Andy Borowitz
> 
> Satire from The Borowitz Report
> Kushner Close to Obtaining Clearance for Other Government Facility
> Although the facility lacks some of the prestige of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, food and lodging would be funded by the taxpayer.
> By Andy Borowitz
> 
> Satire from The Borowitz Report
> Trump’s Lawyers Argue That He Cannot Be Impeached Because He Was Never Actually Elected
> “A person referred to in a subpoena as ‘President’ Donald J. Trump simply does not exist,” the memo claimed.
> By Andy Borowitz
> 
> Satire from The Borowitz Report
> Rex Tillerson: I Hope Trump Finds Out He’s Impeached on Twitter
> Tillerson started laughing in what some witnesses described as a demonic manner as he imagined it.
> By Andy Borowitz
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
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