[Vision2020] Fwd: ADV: Melania’s Holiday Letter

[Tom Hansen]

Begin forwarded message:

> From: The Borowitz Report <NewYorker at newsletter.newyorker.com>
> Date: December 24, 2018 at 6:33:43 AM PST
> To: thansen at moscow.com
> Subject: ADV: Melania’s Holiday Letter
> Reply-To: NewYorker at newsletter.newyorker.com
> 
> 
> Exclusive to the Borowitz Report: a special letter from the First Lady to the American people.
> View this email in your browser  
>  
> Dear Americans,
> At this holiday time of season, the Trump family gathers at Mar-a-Lago and I make sure to be somewhere else. You see, I am busy writing my memoir, which I call “Becoming.” Meanwhile, I want to share with you some of my favorite Borowitz Reports from 2018. It’s always a happy time when Borowitz Report appears in my e-mail, because I know it will make husband look bad (LOL).
> Enjoy! And I hope your holidays Be Best.
> Your Queen,
> Melania Trump
> Satire from The Borowitz Report
> Trump Says He Has No Idea Who F.B.I. Informant Might Be
> “I’ve been trying to figure out who would have the opportunity and the motive to do something like this,” Trump said. “But I keep coming up empty.”
> By Andy Borowitz
> 
> Satire from The Borowitz Report
> Millions of Americans Demand $130,000 for Not Having Sex with Trump
> “Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for Stormy Daniels,” one Californian said. “I just want my check, too.”
> By Andy Borowitz
> 
> Satire from The Borowitz Report
> Bezos Says That When Pee Tape Is Released It Will Be Free for All Amazon Prime Members
> The Amazon founder acknowledged that the tape had not surfaced yet but said that the company was “working around the clock to make that happen.”
> By Andy Borowitz
> 
> Satire from The Borowitz Report
> Trump Demands to Know Who Put “Entering Crazytown” Sign on Oval Office Door
> The President reportedly noticed the sign on Friday morning and became enraged after asking Kellyanne Conway to read what it said to him.
> By Andy Borowitz
> 
> Satire from The Borowitz Report
> Trump Says It’s a Very Scary Time for Men, Because Women Can Vote Them Out of Office
> “You can do or say something that women don’t like, and suddenly millions of women will come out of the woodwork and vote against you,” Trump said. “I think it’s a disgrace.”
> By Andy Borowitz
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
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