[Vision2020] 2013 NRA Convention Schedule Of Events

[Tom Hansen]

Courtesy of The Onion News at:

http://tinyurl.com/cnmyung
 
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2013 NRA Convention Schedule Of Events

The National Rifle Association is holding its 142nd annual meeting in downtown Houston this weekend. Here are the scheduled events:

FRIDAY, May 3

12 p.m.: Welcoming introduction video from President Obama
12:30 p.m.: Security forced to hold back squealing teenage girls in attendance as Wayne LaPierre takes stage
12:35 p.m.: Quick joke about how everyone in attendance must have passed a background check to warm up the crowd
1 p.m.: Most unconscionable words you could ever imagine met with enthusiastic cheers from thousands of people
3 p.m.: Remembrance of the victims of Sandy Hook with an extended moment of loud, scrambling excuse-making
6 p.m.: Reasoned, level-headed debate on whether the Second Amendment continues to hold relevance
SATURDAY, May 4

11:40 a.m.: Man whose face and name will someday be plastered across news websites and televisions across the nation approaches convention registration table
12 p.m.: Performance of “God Bless America” using guns with variously pitched discharges
4 p.m.: The 46 senators who voted against last month’s defeated gun control bill collect their winnings
5 p.m.: One-hour triage break to treat afternoon gun wounds
6:30 p.m.: Beaten, tied-up gun control advocates Joe Manchin (D-WV) and Pat Toomey (R-PA) lowered from roof into ravenous audience
8 p.m.: NRA/anti-NRA protest groups mixer
SUNDAY, May 5

10 a.m.: Psychological counseling booths open to let gun enthusiasts talk out their deep-seated emotional problems
11 a.m.: Kids Korner workshop featuring popular Decorate Your Own Human Silhouette Target station
12 p.m.: Crowd treated to free T-shirts fired from fully automatic T-shirt cannon with high-capacity magazine
1 p.m.: Intensive five-hour town hall discussion on mental health reform
6:30 p.m.: Man who threatened to murder the President of the United States gives rousing speech to attendees
7 p.m.: Attendees leave convention knowing they have done their duty to protect the freedom of the American people

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Seeya round town, Moscow, because . . .

"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)
http://www.MoscowCares.com
  
Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho

"There's room at the top they are telling you still 
But first you must learn how to smile as you kill 
If you want to be like the folks on the hill."

- John Lennon
 

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