[Vision2020] An Endorsement from Rick Santorum

[Art Deco]

 May 8, 2012 Why Mitt Romney is No Longer the Worst Person in America to
Run for President An Endorsement from Rick Santorum    NEW YORK (*The
Borowitz Report<http://borowitzreport.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=49de3335c30245ecd0fa291aa&id=05f76f7b43&e=8ba6febced>
*) - The following open letter to America was published today by former
Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum:

My Fellow Americans:

I am writing to you today to endorse Mitt Romney for President of the
United States.

Now, some of you may recall that during the campaign, I took a slightly
different position on Mitt Romney.  In fact, I said that Mitt Romney was
the worst person in America to run against Barack Obama for President.
Well, there’s nothing wrong with changing your mind.  In fact, as Mitt
Romney himself has proved, changing your mind is the surest path to the
Republican nomination.  LOL.

Why do I no longer think Mitt Romney is the worst person to run for
President?  Well, I started thinking about that Jet Blue pilot who went off
his nut a few weeks ago and had to be tackled by passengers.  That dude
would definitely be a worse person to run for President than Mitt Romney.
Say what you will about Mitt Romney and how he made his fortune by putting
thousands of people out of work and how he invented Obamacare before Obama
did and all, he has never jeopardized the lives of people on an airplane
(that I know of).  That is probably because he flies everywhere on a
private jet, staffed entirely by undocumented workers.

I also started thinking about Michael Vick.  He was involved in some of the
most despicable acts in recent memory, involving the deaths of multiple
dogs.  Mitt Romney, on the other hand, has only endangered the life of one
dog, his own, and he didn’t actually kill the dog, he just literally scared
the shit out of it.  So if you compare Mitt Romney to someone who has
actually been responsible for the killing of dogs and not just scaring them
to death, I would have to say Michael Vick would be slightly worse than him
(although in some ways slightly better, since Michael Vick did not create
Obamacare or have gays on his staff).

In conclusion, my fellow Americans, Mitt Romney is a total douche.  No
one’s arguing that he isn’t. But if you compare him to either the insane
Jet Blue guy or a heartless dog-killer like Michael Vick, Mitt Romney is no
longer the worst person in America to run for President.  I should add,
however, that if anything should happen to Mitt Romney between now and
November, such as him getting trapped in his Swiss bank vault with all his
ill-gotten money and tragically suffocating to death, I stand ready and
willing to be your nominee.  Plus I am an actual Christian who does not
believe in magic underpants.

Vote for Romney,

Rick Santorum

-- 
Art Deco (Wayne A. Fox)
art.deco.studios at gmail.com
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://mailman.fsr.com/pipermail/vision2020/attachments/20120508/37c9a774/attachment.html>