[Vision2020] Cheney Get New Heart; "W" still on waiting list for a brain

[Nicholas Gier]

*MARCH 24, 2012*
*Cheney Receives Heart Transplant; Bush Still on Waiting List for
Brain**Halliburton
Performs Reconstruction of Former VP*FALLS CHURCH, VA (*The Borowitz
Report<https://www.mail.uidaho.edu/exchweb/bin/redir.asp?URL=http://borowitzreport.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=49de3335c30245ecd0fa291aa%26id=d10d040ecc%26e=fcb33a3a6c>
*) – Former Vice President Dick Cheney received a heart transplant today,
but former President George W. Bush remained on a waiting list for a brain,
hospital officials confirmed.

As part of a government contract signed while he was still Vice President,
Halliburton performed the reconstruction work on Mr. Cheney’s circulatory
system at a cost to taxpayers of $14.2 billion.

The doctor who performed the surgery called the procedure “extremely
invasive – just the way the Vice President wanted it.”

A hospital spokesman said that Mr. Cheney was expected to make a full
recovery, but that he was “somewhat disoriented” coming out of anesthesia:
“When we asked him who the President of the United States was, he said, ‘Is
it still me?’”

Former President Bush made an appearance at the former Vice President’s
hospital, hanging a “Mission Accomplished” banner in Mr. Cheney’s room
hours before the operation was completed.
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