[Vision2020] Dogging Mitt Romney

Thu Mar 8 08:00:31 PST 2012

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Op-Ed Columnist Dogging Mitt Romney By GAIL
COLLINS<http://topics.nytimes.com/top/opinion/editorialsandoped/oped/columnists/gailcollins/index.html?inline=nyt-per>
Published:
March 7, 2012

  I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this, but Mitt Romney once drove to
Canada with the family Irish setter on the roof of the car.

 Seamus, the dog-on-the-roof, has become a kind of political icon. You
cannot go anywhere without running into him. There are Seamus T-shirts and
endless Web sites. This week, the story was a New Yorker cover, with Rick
Santorum playing the role of the Irish setter.

Neil Swidey, the Boston Globe reporter who first broke the Seamus story in
2007, wrote recently that he had been avoiding a return to the topic for
fear that some day the dog would wind up in the lead of his obituary.

Which I can totally understand.

The story took place in 1983, when the Romney family made a 12-hour
pilgrimage from Boston to a vacation home in Canada. Romney, his wife, Ann,
and five sons were in the station wagon. Seamus was in a crate, or kennel,
on the roof.

At some point — possibly in response to the excitement about being passed
by tractor-trailers while floating like a furry maraschino cherry on top of
the car, Seamus developed diarrhea. And Romney, who had designated all the
acceptable rest stops before beginning the trip, was forced to make an
unscheduled trip to a gas station. Where he kept the family in the car
while he hosed down the station wagon and the dog, then returned to the
highway.

“It was a tiny preview of a trait he would grow famous for in business:
emotion-free crisis management,” Swidey wrote.

People, does any of this sound appealing? Elect Mitt Romney and he will
take the nation on the road to the future. Some of us will be stuck on the
roof. The rest of us will be inside singing camp songs and waiting for the
day when the master plan lets us stop to visit the bathroom. Plus, anybody
who screws up on the way to the future gets the hose.

Anyhow, we are now at a post-Super-Tuesday lull in the campaign, and I am
ready to answer Seamus questions.

*Haven’t you brought this episode up like about 10 million times already?*

I’ve made a kind of game of trying to mention Seamus every time I write
about Mitt Romney. This is because the Republican primary campaign has been
an extremely long and depressing slog, and we need all the diversion we can
get.

* It’s as though you’re saying this is the most important fact about a
possible future president of the United States.*

You could argue that the Seamus story puts Romney in a more human context.
This is not just a quarter-billionaire with approximately the same gift for
the common touch as Scrooge McDuck. This is a real person. A person who
once drove to Canada with the family dog tied to the roof of the car.

* In a kennel, right?*

“This is a completely air-tight kennel, mounted on the top of our car. He
climbed up there regularly, enjoyed himself,” Romney told Chris Wallace in
a Fox interview that began with Wallace, a dog owner, demanding: “What were
you thinking?”

* Wait a minute, if the kennel was air-tight, how did Seamus breathe?*

Excellent question. Also hard to envision the animal continually trying to
leap on top of the station wagon in order to enjoy its delights.

* So that’s it from Romney?*

He did once suggest that the Seamus publicity was a plot by PETA to get
even with him for allowing rodeo performances at the Winter Olympics in
Utah.

* I bet President Obama would never put Bo on top of a car.*

Yes, the Obama campaign has been eager to point this out. Although, really,
if you’re the president of the United States, you can give the dog his own
helicopter if you want to.

I should note that when it comes to presidents and dogs, Romney would have
to go a long way to match Lyndon Johnson, who once held up his beagles by
the ears for photographers.

* Is it even legal to drive around with a dog on top of your car?*

Chris Wallace did ask Romney if he knew that he was breaking a
Massachusetts law against cruelty to animals. Mitt did his heh-heh-heh
thing and pleaded ignorance. The law is actually kind of vague. But I will
point out that a member of a group called Dogs Against Romney drove to a
protest in Colorado with a model of Seamus on top of his car and was
stopped by the police.

* I heard a rumor that when the family got to Canada, Seamus ran away.*

Seeking sanctuary? Mitt’s sister, Jane, told Swidey that the dog developed
a tendency to wander, and that she took Seamus to her home in California
where there was more space. She also gave The Globe an extremely cute
picture of Seamus cuddling with some kittens.

* Does Romney have a dog now? I’m not sure I want to see Seamus II in the
White House.*

Romney occasionally says, “We love our pets. Heh. Heh. Heh.” The Romney
camp hates talking about Seamus-related issues, but there’s no evidence of
an actual family dog at the present. If there is one, I’d hate to think of
how it travels when they fly between campaign stops.
    A version of this op-ed appeared in print on March 8, 2012, on
page A31of the New
York edition with the headline: Dogging Mitt Romney.
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   1.
    - Karen Garcia
      - New Paltz, NY
      -  Verified

   Ever since I heard the Seamus story and started watching Mitt on TV, I
   was struck by the similarity to the National Lampoon "Vacation" movie,
   which came out the same year (1983) as the Romneys' ill-fated road trip. (A
   few bloggers have noticed the creepy coincidence too.) In the movie, Clark
   Griswold (Chevy Chase) ties Dinky the dog to the rear bumper and then takes
   off down the interstate with the pooch still attached to the car.
   Accidentally on purpose, it would seem.

   The actress who plays Griswold's wife bears an uncanny resemblance to
   Ann Romney -- perfectly coiffed blond,an ultra-perky June Cleaver on
   steroids, long-suffering and similarly tone-deaf. They have little sympathy
   for the poor relations they encounter during their journey. When their old
   Aunt Edna unexpectedly dies (of neglect?) during the road trip, Clark
   simply ties her corpse to the roof of the station wagon and later dumps it
   in somebody's back yard under cover of darkness. But not before they go
   through the old lady's purse for whatever is left of her Social Security
   check.

   The Romneys and the Griswolds are self-involved Questors of the good
   life, running roughshod over everyone in their paths and caring not a whit
   about the mess they leave behind, or even how they appear to others. If
   Mitt ever does arrive at his Wally World White House, will he take us on a
   merry-go-round to nowhere, or on a roller coaster ride through hell? One
   thing's for sure: all the Aunt Ednas will be tossed over the side.
    - March 7, 2012 at 7:12
p.m.<http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/08/opinion/collins-dogging-mitt-romney.html?comments#permid=1>
      - Recommended668

   Read All 11 Replies
    1.
       - lynninny
         - NY

      Karen, thanks for the laugh today! That was priceless.
       - March 8, 2012 at 6:42
a.m.<http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/08/opinion/collins-dogging-mitt-romney.html?comments#permid=1:15>
         - Recommended8
      2.
       - John Thomas
         - Rockville, MD

      Following Marc from NYC (who suggested John Candy as Chris Christie),
      I propose Ralph Fiennes as Eric Cantor and Robert Duvall as hapless John
      Boehner (who really wants to be reasonable but doesn't dare
admit it, even
      to himself).

      To play Seamus, well, .... hmmmm... computer animation will most
      likely be required.
       - March 8, 2012 at 6:42
a.m.<http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/08/opinion/collins-dogging-mitt-romney.html?comments#permid=1:16>
         - Recommended7

-- 
Art Deco (Wayne A. Fox)
art.deco.studios at gmail.com
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