[Vision2020] Ques. For you: What is Most Important in a Relationship?

Thu Jul 19 08:30:34 PDT 2012

There has got to be a good story here!

On Thu, Jul 19, 2012 at 8:27 AM, Joe Campbell <philosopher.joe at gmail.com>wrote:

> I forgot one other thing: don't marry a twin! Joe
>
> On Wed, Jul 18, 2012 at 9:03 PM, Scott Dredge <scooterd408 at hotmail.com>
> wrote:
> > You don't need to date someone that is like you, I'd just recommend
> dating
> > someone that you're compatible with and vice versa.  You can be
> opposites in
> > many ways and yet still have compatible lifestyles.
> >
> > -Scott
> >
> > ________________________________
> > Date: Wed, 18 Jul 2012 19:05:01 -0700
> > From: donovanjarnold2005 at yahoo.com
> > Subject: Re: [Vision2020] Ques. For you: What is Most Important in a
> > Relationship?
> > To: scooterd408 at hotmail.com; vision2020 at moscow.com
> >
> > Thanks Scott, that does help. I think that is a good litmus test, how
> long I
> > can spend in a room with someone and not want to kick them out, or them
> me.
> > I don't think however I am compatible with someone that is like me. I
> like
> > dating someone that is different and therefore more interesting. There
> are
> > few, is any people I like sharing most my time and space with.  I know
> the
> > odds are slim of it lasting forever, but you never know unless you try,
> yes?
> > I just, honestly, don't want to wake up two decades from now, be alone,
> fat,
> > wrinkled, and missed out on sharing my old age and troubles with someone.
> >
> > Donovan J. Arnold
> >
> > From: Scott Dredge <scooterd408 at hotmail.com>
> > To: donovanjarnold2005 at yahoo.com; viz <vision2020 at moscow.com>
> > Sent: Wednesday, July 18, 2012 7:20 PM
> > Subject: RE: [Vision2020] Ques. For you: What is Most Important in a
> > Relationship?
> >
> > The utmost importance is to find someone you're compatible with and who's
> > compatible with you.  That answers all of your questions below.  A good
> test
> > of compatibility is to spend a lotta, lotta, lotta, time with them.  If
> you
> > spend 3 hours with them and then need 3 days away from them to recover
> from
> > being sick of being around them, then that's a good indication of
> > incompatibility.  If you can travel in close quarters for a solid month
> > where you're pretty much together 24 hours a day and you don't get sick
> of
> > each other and in fact thoroughly enjoy each others company during that
> > time, that might be a good indication that you can hang together and
> might
> > have a lot in common.  If you get married to this person, you have a
> 50/50
> > chance - at the absolute very best - at making it the distance (death).
> >
> > I took a psychology class many years ago and the marriage statistics back
> > then were bleak.  The prof categorized US marriages such that out of
> every
> > 10 marriages: 5 of them ended in divorce, 2 of them stuck together
> because
> > of convenience, 1 of them was a dead marriage, 1 stuck together for the
> sake
> > of their kids, and 1 was a happy marriage.  The moral of the story was
> that
> > you had a 10% chance of being happily married - and I guess you just
> hope to
> > God that your spouse is equally happily married otherwise he/she can
> simply
> > just say 'bye-bye' and there's not a whole heck of a lot you can do to
> keep
> > your marriage from dissolving like so many of them do.
> >
> > By the way, I've never bought into the idea that 'relationships are
> work' -
> > except for bad ones.  Those can be a frustratingly pile of work.  Why
> > bother?  Life is too short to be stuck in a crappy relationship.
> >
> > Best wishes in finding your soul mate!
> >
> > -Scott
> >
> >
> > Date: Wed, 18 Jul 2012 17:43:41 -0700
> > From: donovanjarnold2005 at yahoo.com
> > To: vision2020 at moscow.com
> > Subject: [Vision2020] Ques. For you: What is Most Important in a
> > Relationship?
> >
> > I was wondering what people look for in a life partner, what standards do
> > they have.
> >
> > What is most important in a relationship?
> >
> > What character traits do you look for?
> >
> > What are the deal breakers, in terms of looks, behavior, and attitude?
> >
> > What about looks vs. personality? Would you be willing to have a partner
> you
> > know you would not find that attractive in the near future, but they had
> a
> > loving character and personality?
> >
> > How about their health, would you continue to be with someone even if you
> > knew they would leave you old and alone? Would you stay with them and do
> > that to them?
> >
> > What about financial success? Do they need to be at a certain level, or
> is
> > any financial situation OK with a partner you love?
> >
> > People that got divorced, what do you suggest would make a relationship
> > last, not last?
> >
> > How much are you allowed to demand from your partner, and how much should
> > you be willing to change for them?
> >
> > How about fidelity? Would you marry if you thought you could not be
> > faithful, or you felt they would not be? How about infidelity after,
> should
> > it end, or accepted?
> >
> > Does the idea of being faithful, and being 50/50 partners with person for
> > the rest of your life, for better or worse scare you?
> >
> > I know these are kind of personal, and you can be vague, but I am kinda
> > wondering if other people think and feel about these issues the same as I
> > do. I've never seriously thought about this stuff before because I was
> > young, and marriage was illegal for me until recently. It wasn't really
> in
> > the cards until now.  Now that I am getting older and marriage is an
> actual
> > choice, this is kind of new for me so I have not had the opportunity to
> > consider and experience these things like many of you have been
> > fortunate/unfortunate to have done for your entire life. Any insights you
> > can give me would be appreciated.
> >
> >
> > Donovan J. Arnold
> >
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> >
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>                http://www.fsr.net
>           mailto:Vision2020 at moscow.com
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