[Vision2020] Ques. For you: What is Most Important in a Relationship?

[Joe Campbell]

I forgot one other thing: don't marry a twin! Joe

On Wed, Jul 18, 2012 at 9:03 PM, Scott Dredge <scooterd408 at hotmail.com> wrote:
> You don't need to date someone that is like you, I'd just recommend dating
> someone that you're compatible with and vice versa.  You can be opposites in
> many ways and yet still have compatible lifestyles.
>
> -Scott
>
> ________________________________
> Date: Wed, 18 Jul 2012 19:05:01 -0700
> From: donovanjarnold2005 at yahoo.com
> Subject: Re: [Vision2020] Ques. For you: What is Most Important in a
> Relationship?
> To: scooterd408 at hotmail.com; vision2020 at moscow.com
>
> Thanks Scott, that does help. I think that is a good litmus test, how long I
> can spend in a room with someone and not want to kick them out, or them me.
> I don't think however I am compatible with someone that is like me. I like
> dating someone that is different and therefore more interesting. There are
> few, is any people I like sharing most my time and space with.  I know the
> odds are slim of it lasting forever, but you never know unless you try, yes?
> I just, honestly, don't want to wake up two decades from now, be alone, fat,
> wrinkled, and missed out on sharing my old age and troubles with someone.
>
> Donovan J. Arnold
>
> From: Scott Dredge <scooterd408 at hotmail.com>
> To: donovanjarnold2005 at yahoo.com; viz <vision2020 at moscow.com>
> Sent: Wednesday, July 18, 2012 7:20 PM
> Subject: RE: [Vision2020] Ques. For you: What is Most Important in a
> Relationship?
>
> The utmost importance is to find someone you're compatible with and who's
> compatible with you.  That answers all of your questions below.  A good test
> of compatibility is to spend a lotta, lotta, lotta, time with them.  If you
> spend 3 hours with them and then need 3 days away from them to recover from
> being sick of being around them, then that's a good indication of
> incompatibility.  If you can travel in close quarters for a solid month
> where you're pretty much together 24 hours a day and you don't get sick of
> each other and in fact thoroughly enjoy each others company during that
> time, that might be a good indication that you can hang together and might
> have a lot in common.  If you get married to this person, you have a 50/50
> chance - at the absolute very best - at making it the distance (death).
>
> I took a psychology class many years ago and the marriage statistics back
> then were bleak.  The prof categorized US marriages such that out of every
> 10 marriages: 5 of them ended in divorce, 2 of them stuck together because
> of convenience, 1 of them was a dead marriage, 1 stuck together for the sake
> of their kids, and 1 was a happy marriage.  The moral of the story was that
> you had a 10% chance of being happily married - and I guess you just hope to
> God that your spouse is equally happily married otherwise he/she can simply
> just say 'bye-bye' and there's not a whole heck of a lot you can do to keep
> your marriage from dissolving like so many of them do.
>
> By the way, I've never bought into the idea that 'relationships are work' -
> except for bad ones.  Those can be a frustratingly pile of work.  Why
> bother?  Life is too short to be stuck in a crappy relationship.
>
> Best wishes in finding your soul mate!
>
> -Scott
>
>
> Date: Wed, 18 Jul 2012 17:43:41 -0700
> From: donovanjarnold2005 at yahoo.com
> To: vision2020 at moscow.com
> Subject: [Vision2020] Ques. For you: What is Most Important in a
> Relationship?
>
> I was wondering what people look for in a life partner, what standards do
> they have.
>
> What is most important in a relationship?
>
> What character traits do you look for?
>
> What are the deal breakers, in terms of looks, behavior, and attitude?
>
> What about looks vs. personality? Would you be willing to have a partner you
> know you would not find that attractive in the near future, but they had a
> loving character and personality?
>
> How about their health, would you continue to be with someone even if you
> knew they would leave you old and alone? Would you stay with them and do
> that to them?
>
> What about financial success? Do they need to be at a certain level, or is
> any financial situation OK with a partner you love?
>
> People that got divorced, what do you suggest would make a relationship
> last, not last?
>
> How much are you allowed to demand from your partner, and how much should
> you be willing to change for them?
>
> How about fidelity? Would you marry if you thought you could not be
> faithful, or you felt they would not be? How about infidelity after, should
> it end, or accepted?
>
> Does the idea of being faithful, and being 50/50 partners with person for
> the rest of your life, for better or worse scare you?
>
> I know these are kind of personal, and you can be vague, but I am kinda
> wondering if other people think and feel about these issues the same as I
> do. I've never seriously thought about this stuff before because I was
> young, and marriage was illegal for me until recently. It wasn't really in
> the cards until now.  Now that I am getting older and marriage is an actual
> choice, this is kind of new for me so I have not had the opportunity to
> consider and experience these things like many of you have been
> fortunate/unfortunate to have done for your entire life. Any insights you
> can give me would be appreciated.
>
>
> Donovan J. Arnold
>
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