[Vision2020] 2012: Top Ten Ways to Survive the Washington Holiday Party

[Art Deco]

December 5, 2012
2012: Top Ten Ways to Survive the Washington Holiday Party
Posted by Jane Mayer<http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/bios/jane_mayer/search?contributorName=Jane%20Mayer>

[image: obama-xmas-465.jpg]

As we approach the end-of-year (or if you’re Mayan, end-of-the-world)
holiday parties, the unwritten rules of engagement in Washington become
more crucial. So this year, I’ve decided to write them down. Think of it
as, “The Rules, Washington Edition, circa 2012.”

[image: best-of-2012_small.jpg] <http://nyr.kr/UCk09M>

The first rule, a perennial, is exceedingly important if you happen to be
invited to one of the many, many White House Christmas parties that
President Obama tried to skip during his first year in office, but now has
to host night after night. It was passed on to me by the late grande dame
of Washington columnists, Mary McGrory:

1. “Approach the shrimp bowl as if you own it.”

The second rule, recently reëstablished by retired General David Petraeus,
but as articulated by Willie Stark in Robert Penn Warren’s great American
political novel, “All The King’s Men”:

2. “Jack, there’s something on everybody…. There’s ALWAYS something.”

The third rule, established for history in a private
note<http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/10/15/watch-obamas-note-to-aide_n_135028.html>that
then Senator Obama passed to an aide in reaction to the blathering of
Joe Biden, who was then his Senate colleague, comes in handy whenever talk
of budget negotiations arises, which unfortunately is often in Washington
these days:

3. “Shoot. Me. Now.”

The fourth rule, never to be forgotten while exchanging holiday air-kisses,
is one that Ed Crane, the former head of the Cato Institute, was surely
reminded of this year when he was deposed by his life-long friends, the
billionaire Koch Brothers. *As famously uttered by President Harry Truman: *

*4. “If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.” *

The fifth rule, especially pertinent when considering the sixty-two
individuals who each spent a million dollars or more on the 2012
elections<http://www.opensecrets.org/outsidespending/summ.php?disp=D>,
was stated most memorably by Hal Holbrook, playing the part of “Deep
Throat” in the movie version of “All the President’s Men”:

5. “Follow the money.”

Rules number six and seven are eternal laws coined by the sharp-eyed
Washington pundit Michael Kinsley. Kinsley’s First Law, my rule number six,
was demonstrated this past year in Mitt Romney’s comments about “the
forty-seven per cent.” And Kinsley’s Second Law, my seventh rule, captured
the entire realm of campaign finance in 2012.

6. “A gaffe is when a politician tells the truth.”

7. “The scandal isn’t what is illegal in Washington, it’s what’s legal.”

Rule number eight, as learned the hard way by Mitt Romney when Governor
Chris Christie wrapped his arms around President Obama and federal aid
after Hurricane Sandy devastated New Jersey, and in the immortal phrasing
of former Speaker of the House Thomas P. “Tip” O’Neill:

8. “All politics is local.”

Rule number nine, worth remembering in the midst of the extreme partisan
passions that dominate Washington now, comes from former Supreme Court
Justice Louis Brandeis:

9. “The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men
of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.”

Rule number ten is self-explanatory:

10: Reporters need tips. Please submit your own rules in the comment
section below.

*Official White House Photo by Pete Souza.*



-- 
Art Deco (Wayne A. Fox)
art.deco.studios at gmail.com
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