<div class="" title="2012-12-05T18:09:26">December 5, 2012</div>
<h1 class="">2012: Top Ten Ways to Survive the Washington Holiday Party</h1>
<div class="">Posted by <cite class=""><a href="http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/bios/jane_mayer/search?contributorName=Jane%20Mayer" title="search site for content by Jane Mayer" rel="author">Jane Mayer</a></cite></div>
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<p><img alt="obama-xmas-465.jpg" src="http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/newsdesk/obama-xmas-465.jpg" class="" style="text-align: center; display: block; margin: 0px auto 20px;" height="310" width="465"></p>
<p>As we approach the end-of-year (or if you’re Mayan, end-of-the-world)
holiday parties, the unwritten rules of engagement in Washington become
more crucial. So this year, I’ve decided to write them down. Think of
it as, “The Rules, Washington Edition, circa 2012.” </p>
<p><a href="http://nyr.kr/UCk09M" target="_blank"><img alt="best-of-2012_small.jpg" src="http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/newsdesk/best-of-2012_small.jpg" class="" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 20px 20px;" height="154" width="154"></a></p>
<p>The first rule, a perennial, is exceedingly important if you happen
to be invited to one of the many, many White House Christmas parties
that President Obama tried to skip during his first year in office, but
now has to host night after night. It was passed on to me by the late
grande dame of Washington columnists, Mary McGrory: </p>
<p>1. “Approach the shrimp bowl as if you own it.” </p>
<div id="entry-more"><p>The second rule, recently reëstablished by
retired General David Petraeus, but as articulated by Willie Stark in
Robert Penn Warren’s great American political novel, “All The King’s
Men”: </p>
<p>2. “Jack, there’s something on everybody…. There’s ALWAYS something.” </p>
<p>The third rule, established for history in <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/10/15/watch-obamas-note-to-aide_n_135028.html">a private note</a>
that then Senator Obama passed to an aide in reaction to the blathering
of Joe Biden, who was then his Senate colleague, comes in handy
whenever talk of budget negotiations arises, which unfortunately is
often in Washington these days: </p>
<p>3. “Shoot. Me. Now.”</p>
<p>The fourth rule, never to be forgotten while exchanging holiday
air-kisses, is one that Ed Crane, the former head of the Cato Institute,
was surely reminded of this year when he was deposed by his life-long
friends, the billionaire Koch Brothers. <span style="color:rgb(255,0,0)"><b>As famously uttered by President
Harry Truman: </b></span></p>
<p><span style="color:rgb(255,0,0)"><b>4. “If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.” </b></span></p>
<p>The fifth rule, especially pertinent when considering the sixty-two individuals who each <a href="http://www.opensecrets.org/outsidespending/summ.php?disp=D">spent a million dollars or more on the 2012 elections</a>,
was stated most memorably by Hal Holbrook, playing the part of “Deep
Throat” in the movie version of “All the President’s Men”: </p>
<p>5. “Follow the money.” </p>
<p>Rules number six and seven are eternal laws coined by the sharp-eyed
Washington pundit Michael Kinsley. Kinsley’s First Law, my rule number
six, was demonstrated this past year in Mitt Romney’s comments about
“the forty-seven per cent.” And Kinsley’s Second Law, my seventh rule,
captured the entire realm of campaign finance in 2012.</p>
<p>6. “A gaffe is when a politician tells the truth.”</p>
<p>7. “The scandal isn’t what is illegal in Washington, it’s what’s legal.” </p>
<p>Rule number eight, as learned the hard way by Mitt Romney when
Governor Chris Christie wrapped his arms around President Obama and
federal aid after Hurricane Sandy devastated New Jersey, and in the
immortal phrasing of former Speaker of the House Thomas P. “Tip”
O’Neill: </p>
<p>8. “All politics is local.” </p>
<p>Rule number nine, worth remembering in the midst of the extreme
partisan passions that dominate Washington now, comes from former
Supreme Court Justice Louis Brandeis: </p>
<p>9. “The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.” </p>
<p>Rule number ten is self-explanatory: </p>
<p>10: Reporters need tips. Please submit your own rules in the comment section below. </p>
<p><em>Official White House Photo by Pete Souza.</em></p></div>
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<h4><br></h4><br clear="all"><br>-- <br>Art Deco (Wayne A. Fox)<br><a href="mailto:art.deco.studios@gmail.com" target="_blank">art.deco.studios@gmail.com</a><br><br><img src="http://users.moscow.com/waf/WP%20Fox%2001.jpg"><br>
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