[Vision2020] The Borowitz Report

[Art Deco]

 Hookers Downgrade US Credit Rating Shortchanging by Secret Service Draws
Strong Rebuke

NEW YORK (*The Borowitz
Report<http://borowitzreport.us1.list-manage2.com/track/click?u=49de3335c30245ecd0fa291aa&id=887acd72bf&e=8ba6febced>
*) – Days after Secret Service agents shortchanged a group of prostitutes
in Colombia, the international trade group representing hookers downgraded
the United States’ credit rating from AAA to B.

The strong rebuke from the International Alliance of Professional Escorts
came after a Secret Service agent reportedly paid one of its members $30
for an $800 service, or only 4% of the stated price.

The statement from the International Alliance of Professional Escorts said
that in downgrading the United States’ credit rating it was sending a clear
message that its “members should be aware that doing business with the
government of the United States carries with it a significant risk.”

“We are urging our members to avoid conducting transactions with the United
States and to focus on more reliable customers, like the International
Monetary Fund,” the statement added.

Just hours after the announcement from the escorts’ group, the U.S.
Congress passed the following resolution blasting the Secret Service for
its actions: “We strongly denounce the Secret Service for consorting with
prostitutes, which has traditionally been Congress's role.”

But it was not all bad news this week for the Secret Service, which today
reported a 5000% jump in enlistment.

The agency said that enlistment offices across the country have been packed
with prospective agents, including House Speaker Newt Gingrich, who
abruptly dropped out of the Presidential race to join.  *Get a free
subscription to the Borowitz Report
here<http://borowitzreport.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=49de3335c30245ecd0fa291aa&id=0e3af024a5&e=8ba6febced>
.*


-- 
Art Deco (Wayne A. Fox)
art.deco.studios at gmail.com
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