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                                Hookers Downgrade US Credit Rating</h1>
                            
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                                Shortchanging by Secret Service Draws Strong Rebuke</h2>
                            
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                                NEW YORK (<strong><strong><a title="Borowitz Report" href="http://borowitzreport.us1.list-manage2.com/track/click?u=49de3335c30245ecd0fa291aa&id=887acd72bf&e=8ba6febced" target="_blank">The Borowitz Report</a></strong></strong>)
 – Days after Secret Service agents shortchanged a group of prostitutes 
in Colombia, the international trade group representing hookers 
downgraded the United States’ credit rating from AAA to B.<br>
<br>
The strong rebuke from the International Alliance of Professional 
Escorts came after a Secret Service agent reportedly paid one of its 
members $30 for an $800 service, or only 4% of the stated price.<br>
<br>
The statement from the International Alliance of Professional Escorts 
said that in downgrading the United States’ credit rating it was sending
 a clear message that its “members should be aware that doing business 
with the government of the United States carries with it a significant 
risk.”<br>
<br>
“We are urging our members to avoid conducting transactions with the 
United States and to focus on more reliable customers, like the 
International Monetary Fund,” the statement added.<br>
<br>
Just hours after the announcement from the escorts’ group, the U.S. 
Congress passed the following resolution blasting the Secret Service for
 its actions: “We strongly denounce the Secret Service for consorting 
with prostitutes, which has traditionally been Congress's role.”<br>
<br>
But it was not all bad news this week for the Secret Service, which today reported a 5000% jump in enlistment.<br>
<br>
The agency said that enlistment offices across the country have been 
packed with prospective agents, including House Speaker Newt Gingrich, 
who abruptly dropped out of the Presidential race to join.  <strong><strong><strong>Get a free subscription to the Borowitz Report <a title="Free subscription" href="http://borowitzreport.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=49de3335c30245ecd0fa291aa&id=0e3af024a5&e=8ba6febced" target="_blank">here</a>.</strong></strong></strong></p>

<br clear="all"><br>-- <br>Art Deco (Wayne A. Fox)<br><a href="mailto:art.deco.studios@gmail.com" target="_blank">art.deco.studios@gmail.com</a><br>