[Vision2020] 'The Devil' Writes to Pat Robertson

[Tom Hansen]

'The Devil' (aka "Lily Coyle" of Minneapolis, Minnesota) wrote a reponse
to Pat Robertson's claims, courtesy of NPR at:

http://tinyurl.com/Devil-Writes-To-Robertson

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Dear Pat Robertson,

I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the
shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people
when they are down, so I'm all over that action.

But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally
humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher. The way you put
it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished.
Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first
get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame,
glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing.
And that was before the earthquake. Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or
"Damn Yankees"?

If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers,
SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent
poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying:
Not how I roll.

You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just,
come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep
blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may
need to renegotiate your own contract.

Best, Satan

LILY COYLE, MINNEAPOLIS

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Seeya round town, Moscow.

Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho

"The Pessimist complains about the wind, the Optimist expects it to change
and the Realist adjusts his sails."

- Unknown