[Vision2020] Groundbreaking For New Tavern

[Steven Basoa]

Well, it could happen...

GROUNDBREAKING FOR NEW TAVERN
UPRS News
Moscow, Idaho
Sept. 12, 2009

Groundbreaking for a new 10,000 square foot tavern, "The Councilman's  
Hideaway", took place today on the site of Butch Oil in Whitman  
County, just over the Idaho border.  Among those attending were four  
Moscow city councilmen, all of whom are among the new owners.  "We  
felt bad for the people of Moscow and Pullman.  They don't have any  
place to drink a beer and smoke a cigarette.  Now they will." said  
councilman Slick Willie Lambertson as he lit up a six foot long cigar  
with a fifty dollar bill.  "We are gonna be rich."  Councilmen Wally  
'Big' Horse and Dwayne Couch agreed, chanting and dancing "we gonna  
be rich, we gonna be rich".  Councilman Ian Rebbew just shrugged as  
if to say "What can I do?  It was a rare opportunity that just fell  
into our laps."  Co-owner Stevie Ray Butch just stood there grinning,  
dollar signs flashing through his head.

Tobacco smoking will be allowed in all parts of the tavern except the  
bathrooms.  Smoking in taverns is illegal in both Pullman, Washington  
and Moscow.  The Councilman's Hideaway anticipates being open 20  
hours a day and will offer a large selection of cigarettes in 52  
vending machines.  All employees, working for minimum wage with no  
health-care, will be required to be smokers and sign papers releasing  
the owners from any damages due to second hand smoke.  "What do they  
know?  They're just students" one of the new owners was overheard  
saying.

Council members Danny 'Car' Stallion and Tom 'Cat' Lemur were  
unavailable for comment although an unidentified source at IECP,  
where councilman Lemur works, stated that IECP got the contract to  
paint a "green themed mural" on one side of the tavern.  Moscow Mayor  
Nanny 'Dick' Cheney was seen trying to scale a fence in order to join  
the party.  The tavern is scheduled to open on November 31st to  
coincide with the opening of the new eight lane freeway between  
Moscow and Pullman.