[Vision2020] BACK to the Original Question

[Donovan Arnold]

Chas,
 
I don't think you manage your aspergers any better than me. Autism is a spectrum, and impacts people differently. 
 
I can get and hold a job. You cannot. But you can have deep meaningful social relationships. I cannot. Your personal hygiene is horrendous. My is a little better. Despite having a higher intellect than me, you don't have a single degree, where as I have several, as well as other professional licenses and certificates. You lack discipline and drive, which is something that most people with Aspergers have, and you serious lack. I would image that helps you though in personal relationships, because you don't put a relationship at risk for trying to get the other person to understand what you are trying to communicate. 
 
What matters to me, is that people understand what I trying to communicate, not that I am right. But when people don't understand what I am saying, and say I am wrong,and I try to explain,that they think I just unwilling to admit I am wrong. that isn't it, it is that I trying to communicate my point, which I KNOW they are not getting, but think they are getting. 
 
 
It is very different for everybody that deals with, just like any other disability. There is no way you can claim your brain is impacted in exactly the same way as me or anyone else. 
 
I am not so stupid as to be unaware that the error in communication is mostly on my part. Just as someone that is blind knows it isn't the fault of the wall. But what confuses me, is even some  people understand this, they still insist I can see the social context of my words, when I obviously don't. I don't comprehend when somethings are offensive to them, or to the degree they are offended. It has to be explained to me why, which few seem able or willing to do. It is my belief that people instinctively just know social rules, and things like "personal space" because I don't see how people learn that, it was never taught in any class I attended, and I have difficult time understanding all of them, and remembering all of them all the time. You have to admit, social rules of humans are not logical, and change from circumstance to circumstance. So memorizing all the rules is just hard to do, not really all that effective over the long
 term.  
 
Opposite of what you seem to think, Chas; personally, I think, and it has been my experience working with people with Autism, that people with Aspergers are the least understanding of other people with Aspergers because they are not able to see things from other an others point of view. It is more of a double blindness, rather than a better in depth understanding when it comes discussions and communication. 
 
Best Regards,
 
Donovan

--- On Fri, 4/17/09, Chasuk <chasuk at gmail.com> wrote:


From: Chasuk <chasuk at gmail.com>
Subject: Re: [Vision2020] BACK to the Original Question
To: "Donovan Arnold" <donovanjarnold2005 at yahoo.com>
Cc: "vision 2020" <vision2020 at moscow.com>
Date: Friday, April 17, 2009, 7:07 PM


On Fri, Apr 17, 2009 at 17:45, Donovan Arnold
<donovanjarnold2005 at yahoo.com> wrote:

> What Sunil doesn't realize, is that I am awful with the use of everyday
> language because I am unable to clearly see the social context of my words.
> When my writing comes across as awkward, disjointed, socially cruel, and/or
> nonsensical, he assumes my words where written with clarity of the
> understanding of the social contextual meaning in them. Which most of the
> time I am not, because I don't see social context and meaning of words, as
> others do.

Sunil does realize this, as do most of the others on Vision2020. Your
behavior makes it obvious. Further, we are aware of your Asperger's.
It is our awareness that makes your behavior problematic.

You know that there is a high likelihood that any miscommunication is
yours, and yet you consistently fail to take this into account, unless
you want to use it as an excuse, as you are doing here.

I have suffered from Asperger's for longer than you have been alive.
I am sympathetic.  However, Asperger's is manageable.  An important
step in managing it -- maybe the most important step -- is resisting
the temptation to use it as a justification for misconduct.

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