[Vision2020] "Larry Craig Bobblefoot" Giveaway

[Tom Hansen]

>From today's (May 29, 2008) Spokesman Review -

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Doug Clark: Bobblefoot giveaway inspiring

With the price of gas and food soaring and the housing market in the tank, 
most economists caution that this may not be the wisest time to invest 150 
bucks in a plastic Larry Craig "bobblefoot" trinket.

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About the "Larry Craig Bobblefoot"
http://tinyurl.com/67t473

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What these experts don't understand, however, is that there is a huge 
difference between a "want" and a "need."

And I NEED a Larry Craig bobblefoot.

Nothing so far has put into perspective the Idaho senator's gay sex 
solicitation bust at a Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport men's 
room quite like this hilarious keepsake.

I can't stop laughing about this St. Paul Saints promotion.

Last Sunday the Minnesota minor league baseball team gave away small gray 
toilet stalls (complete with hanging legs) to the first 2,500 fans to come 
to the game.

The best part is that this is an interactive toy.

Shake the stall and one of the Larry legs goes "tap-tap-tap." Just like in 
the parody "Tap 3 Times" song I released last year. (You can still hear it 
at spokesmanreview.com by visiting my column site.)

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"Tap Three Times" by Doug Clark and Joe Brasch
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5hmuqRdJFw

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Saints management, according to news stories, claimed the giveaway was 
really designed to commemorate National Tap Dance Day.

And if you believe that, you probably also think Ron Paul has a shot at 
the White House.

One story cited a Saints press release, which stated: "It doesn't matter 
if your tapping style is done with a ¡¥wide stance' or is used as some 
sort of code."

Craig, who pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct, still won't fess up to 
his layover toilet trolling. He blamed his "wide stance" for the Florsheim 
fandango he tried with the undercover cop who was operating a sting from 
the adjoining stall.

Craig, who will retire from the Senate in January, vowed to address his 
arrest in a forthcoming book.

"Out of the Water Closet" gets my vote for a title.

But getting back to the Saintsƒ|¡K

Alas, I couldn't attend the game and receive my own bobblefoot.

No worries, though. This is, after all, a country where everything 
including tacos bearing the image of the Holy Mother winds up for sale on 
eBay.

And sure enough, when I checked eBay Wednesday there were 41 bobblefeet on 
the block.

"The right foot on this doll moves back and forth imitating the moves 
Larry Craig made in that airport stall!" wrote one seller, whose 
bobblefoot had an offer of $76.51.

That price is actually a bargain. A friend told me he'd heard of one 
selling for $152.

It's amazing when you think about it.

Three terms in the Senate and nothing Larry Craig ever said or did 
amounted to more than a pile of dried jackalope droppings.

Then one sex-sting arrest in a crapper. Wham! Suddenly the guy's notable 
enough to be mocked by the national pastime.

Idaho must be so proud.

But there's an important lesson we can all take away from this.

And that is that our Spokane Indians baseball team needs to start being 
more like the St. Paul Saints.

I haven't been to a game in years.

But I just might go if I knew I was going to take home something as 
kitschy and cool as a Larry Craig souvenir.

Or would that be a sewer-nir?

For example: The Indians could give away lime green tube tops in honor of 
the apparel favored by some of East Sprague's sidewalk flesh merchants.

Or how about a "Mud Wrestle the Strong Mayor" night during the seventh-
inning stretch?

You know what? Even some edgier promotions probably wouldn't take me out 
to the ball game. 

Truth is, I haven't been much of a Spokane Indians baseball fan ever since 
the owners pawned off the field name and started calling it Avista Stadium.

There's no way I can relax in a place that keeps reminding me of my power 
bill.

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Seeya round town, Moscow.

Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho

"People who ridicule others while hiding behind anonymous monikers in chat-
room forums are neither brave nor clever." 

- Latah County Sheriff Wayne Rausch (August 21,
2007)

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