[Vision2020] Bush/Shoe Humor

[Tom Hansen]

"George Bush is over there in Baghdad saying goodbye to the troops, and 
this Iraqi journalist heaves a couple shoes at the President. And we 
thought, hopefully that's just a one-of-a-kind episode. Unfortunately, 
however, the news coming out of the Middle East is that Iran is developing 
a long-range loafer." --David Letterman 

"People are still discussing the shoe-throwing incident at our 
president. ... It was reported today that the Iraqi journalist who threw 
the shoes at President Bush had his arm broken when security subdued him. 
And even worse, it was his shoe-throwing arm. That guy is out for the 
season." --Conan O'Brien 

"President Bush announced before he leaves office, he wants to visit the 
poorest regions of the world. You know, any place where people can't 
afford to buy shoes." --Jay Leno 

"That Iraqi journalist who threw his shoes at President Bush the other day 
said he planned his attack for months. Planned it for months? That's what 
he said! I mean, take off one shoe. You throw it. You throw the other 
shoe. He planned it for months. And he still missed both times!" --Jay 
Leno 

"The guy is being called a hero in the Arab world. So, he has this plan 
and it's a failure. And he's a hero. You know, if that's the standard, 
Bush would be the biggest hero in the Arab world." --Jay Leno
 
"Today, President Bush told reporters that the shoe-throwing incident was 
one of the weirdest moments of his presidency. Yeah, Bush said the only 
thing weirder was the time he got re-elected." --Conan O'Brien 

"Have you watched this tape? Some people are criticizing the Secret 
Service, because the shoe thrower caught them off guard. The man was able 
to throw a second shoe. A spokesman for the Secret Service said, 'Sorry, 
but we were laughing our asses off.'" –Conan O'Brien 

"This is the country we thought had nuclear weapons. It turns out they 
have a pair of size 9 Hush Puppies instead." --Jimmy Kimmel 

"It's not just President Bush, today somebody threw a pair of shoes at 
Sarah Palin. And she was very upset. She said, 'Do you have these in 
black?' and threw them back." --Jay Leno 

"I've got to give President Bush credit for this, because he's taking it 
all pretty well. He says that he's actually happy about the shoe-throwing 
episode, because he says it proves finally that Iraq does, in fact, 
possess foot wear of mass destruction." --David Letterman 

"It turns out this guy was described as a hot head. He's a guy who is an 
Iraqi journalist. They say he's a hot head with poor journalistic skills. 
Well, no surprise, today he was offered his own show on Fox News." --David 
Letterman 

"Well, folks, looks like we finally found something President Bush is good 
at. Dodgeball!" --Jay Leno 

"As you know, yesterday in Iraq, President Bush was attacked by a 'shoe-
icide' bomber. President Bush was speaking at a news conference in Iraq 
when a journalist threw two shoes at him [on screen: the video of Bush 
having shoes thrown at him]. You see what President Bush did? You see what 
he did to keep from being hit? Something he's never done before. Lean to 
the left. He's never done that." --Jay Leno 

"You got to admit, whatever you think of the guy, he's got good reflexes. 
Even Bill Clinton was impressed. You know, Clinton's an expert at ducking 
shoes, ashtrays, lamps. Everything." --Jay Leno 

"Now, here's my question, and no offense here, but where was the Secret 
Service? I mean, shouldn't they at least have jumped in front of the 
second shoe? I mean, you know what I'm saying? Come on. Seriously. Aren't 
these guys supposed to take a bullet for the president?" --Jay Leno 

"See, that's when Bush realized he was on his way out, when the Secret 
Service are going, 'Yeah, we're guarding the new guy now.'" --Jay Leno 

"Well, here's my favorite part. Cable news just over-thinks this. On CNN, 
they brought in an expert on Iraqi culture. And he said, 'Let me clarify 
what happened here.' He said, 'In the Arab world, throwing your shoes at 
someone's head is considered an insult.' Oh, really? As opposed to here in 
America, where it's a huge compliment." --Jay Leno 

"Well, the interesting thing was the journalist who threw the shoe was 
immediately arrested, and then offered his own show on MSNBC." --Jay Leno 

"Bush is in Baghdad, he's having a press conference, and a guy, a reporter 
from Iraq jumps up and starts heaving shoes at the guy. And in Iraqi, or 
Arabic, he starts screaming, 'Here's your farewell kiss, you dog!' That's 
what the guy says. I mean, it was the same goodbye I got from NBC." --
David Letterman 

"Right now, they're trying to find out, they arrested the guy, trying to 
find out if he's a Shoe-ni or a Shoe-ite. But it's the same old story. You 
hear this over and over again, a guy, this crazy guy, goes into a Payless 
store, he purchases a pair of Rockport shoes, and they didn't even do a 
background check on him." --David Letterman 

"You've got to give Bush credit. I mean, the guy moved pretty quickly. ... 
Too bad he didn't react that way with bin Laden or Katrina, bin Laden or 
the mortgage crisis, bin Laden or Afghanistan, bin Laden or the Lehman 
Brothers." --David Letterman 

I don't think Bush really has dodged anything like that, well, since the 
Vietnam War." --David Letterman 

"Yesterday, at a press conference in Baghdad, an angry Iraqi threw his 
shoes at President Bush's head. Yeah, when he saw the shoes, President 
Bush said, 'See, I knew you guys had weapons of mass destruction." --Conan 
O'Brien 

"The man who threw his shoes at President Bush is being hailed as a hero 
in Iraq. In fact, when he dies, he'll be greeted in heaven by 72 
podiatrists." --Conan O'Brien 

"The shoe-throwing incident has made Sarah Palin want to be president even 
more. Free shoes! You betcha!" --Craig Ferguson

"Of course, the big story over the weekend is that President Bush had that 
press conference in Iraq, which turned into 'Shoe-pocalypse Now.'" --Craig 
Ferguson

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Seeya round town, Moscow.

Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho
 
"For a lapse Lutheran born-again Buddhist pan-Humanist Universalist 
Unitarian Wiccan Agnostic like myself there's really no reason ever to go 
to work."

- Roy Zimmerman


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