[Vision2020] A Pledge to real Americans (Mikey Moore)

[Tony]

Leave it to the sloppy and unshaven Michael Moore to so effectively offend 
his betters.

1)  Thanks Mike, I am thrilled that you will allow me to give aid and 
comfort to my country's enemies by steadfastly supporting their agenda.

2)  And to finally be able to proudly and publicly engage in inappropriate 
and unhealthy behaviors with the sanction of the community!  Come on Rover, 
lets walk down the isle....

3)  Yes!  Finally someone acknowledges the republican congress' 
responsibility for the balance budget of the Clinton years.

4)  So good to allow violent and sociopathic regimes to proliferate as we 
second guess the judgment and commitment of those presently in uniform.

5)  And what a great idea Mikey!  Let's limit the ballooning cost of health 
coverage by hobbling ambulance chasing attorneys with TORT REFORM!

6)  Our water is already well beyond the point of drinkable Mikey, all your 
proposals would do is saddle individual communities with crippling costs to 
rebuild or replace perfectly adequate facilities.

7)Glad that you would pursue Bush's policy with regard to Bin Laden.


8)  Glad that you won't be sticking your nose in our womb, mikey, at least 
until you SHAVE!  We ask that you stop injecting it with saline solution as 
well.  That tends to have an entirely unpleasant affect on the innocent 
child of God residing therein

9)  Good of you to support the disarming of law abiding Americans Mikey. 
This will enable your favorite minority group: criminals.

10)  And won't those at the bottom of the wage scale be heartened when their 
proposed employer closes doors as a result of crippling regulation?

11)  Good to hear that you will be respecting our religious conviction that 
LIFE BEGINS AT CONCEPTION!

12)  At last!!  Politicians who bang interns and commit felony perjury will 
have to pay the fiddler!!  It's about time Mikey!

Now, Mr. Hollywood, go to the gym, pick up a razor and get a little self 
respect!

-Tony
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Tom Hansen" <thansen at moscow.com>
To: "Vision 2020" <vision2020 at moscow.com>
Sent: Wednesday, November 22, 2006 6:11 AM
Subject: [Vision2020] A Pledge to the New Minority (Michael Moore)


> >From today's (November 22, 2006) Spokesman Review -
>
> --------------------------------------------------------
>
> A pledge to the new minority
> Michael Moore
>
> November 22, 2006
>
> I would like to extend an olive branch. Those of you who consider 
> yourselves
> conservative and usually vote Republican have not had a very good couple 
> of
> weeks. Trust me; I know how this feels.
>
> I know you are dismayed at the results of the Nov. 7 election. You've got 
> to
> be freaking out about what this bunch of tree-hugging, latte-sipping,
> men-kissing-men advocates will do now that the country is in our hands. I
> don't blame you. We'd never admit it, but we secretly admire you because 
> you
> know how to chop down a tree, take your coffee black and enjoy watching
> women kissing women. Good on you!
>
> What I don't want is for you to drop into the deep funk we liberals have
> been in for two-plus decades. Yes, your Republican revolution is over, but
> hang in there. And do not despair. Let me make 12 promises as to how we 
> will
> treat you, the minority, in the coming years.
>
> Thus, here is "A Liberal's Pledge to Disheartened Conservatives":
>
> 1) We will always respect you. We will never, ever call you "unpatriotic"
> simply because you disagree with us. In fact, we encourage you to dissent
> and disagree with us.
>
> 2) We will let you marry whomever you want. Love, and be in love - it's a
> wonderful gift.
>
> 3) We will not spend your grandchildren's money on our personal whims or 
> to
> enrich our friends. It's your checkbook, too, and we will balance it for
> you.
>
> 4) When we soon bring our sons and daughters home from Iraq, we will bring
> your sons and daughters home, too. We promise never to send your kids off 
> to
> war based on some amateur Power Point presentation cooked up by men who 
> have
> never been to war.
>
> 5) When we make America the last Western democracy to have universal 
> health
> coverage, and all Americans are able to get help when they fall ill, we
> promise that you, too, will be able to see a doctor, regardless of your
> ability to pay. And when stem cell research delivers treatments and cures
> for diseases that afflict you and your loved ones, we'll make sure those
> advances are available to you and your family, too.
>
> 6) When we clean up our air and water, you, too, will be able to breathe 
> the
> cleaner air and drink the purer water.
>
> 7) Should a mass murderer ever kill 3,000 people on our soil, we will 
> devote
> every single resource to tracking him down and bringing him to justice.
> Immediately. We will protect you.
>
> 8) We will never stick our nose in your bedroom or your womb. What you do
> there as consenting adults is your business.
>
> 9) We will not take away your hunting guns. If you need an automatic 
> weapon
> or a handgun to kill a bird or a deer, then you really aren't much of a
> hunter and you should, perhaps, take up another sport.
>
> 10) When we raise the minimum wage, we will raise it for your employees 
> too.
> They will use that money to buy more things, which means you will get the
> money back. And when women are finally paid what men make, we will pay
> conservative women that wage, too.
>
> 11) We will respect your religious beliefs, even when you don't practice
> those beliefs. In fact, we will actively seek to promote your most radical
> religious beliefs ("Blessed are the peacemakers," "Love your enemies," "It
> is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich 
> man
> to enter the kingdom of God," and "Whatever you did for one of the least 
> of
> these brothers of mine, you did for me"). We will discourage religious
> intolerance and fanaticism - starting here at home.
>
> 12) We will not tolerate politicians who are corrupt and break the law. 
> And
> we promise you we will go after the corrupt politicians on our side first.
> If we fail to do this, we need you to call us on it.
>
> I promise all of the above to you because this is your country, too. You 
> are
> every bit as American as we are. We are all in this together. Thank you 
> for
> your years of service to this country and for giving us the opportunity to
> see if we can make things a bit better for our 300 million fellow 
> Americans
> - and for the rest of the world.
>
> Now pull yourself together, and let's go have a Frappuccino.
>
> --------------------------------------------------------
>
> Seeya round town, Moscow.
>
> t hansen-moore
> Moscow, Idaho
>
>
> ***********************************
> Work like you don't need the money.
> Love like you've never been hurt.
> Dance like nobody's watching.
>
> - Author Unknown
> ***********************************
>
>
>
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