[Vision2020] "Take a Blockhead to Lunch" Month

[Debbie Gray]

Here's an interesting/fun editorial from High Country 
News/Writers on the Range...

Welcome to Take a Blockhead to Lunch
April 2006
Jeff Golden

Do you want things to change? Are you agitated or frustrated or 
just plain bored with the civic conversation in your community 
and the country at large?

I am. And I´m going to do something about it. I´m going to take 
a blockhead to lunch.

We keep hearing that civic life these days is deeply polarized, 
and it is. Why is that? Because we fundamentally disagree on the 
basic issues, or because we´ve let shouting, blaming and 
scapegoating become the way we do politics? Is it because our 
beliefs clash at their very core, or because the frenzy and fear 
purveyed by our crassest media and worst politicians have made 
us desperate for a set of beliefs and like-minded people to 
cling to, however incomplete or flawed they may be?

Probably some of both, and maybe more. But since most of the 
current ideological and philosophical debate (if what we´ve been 
doing deserves a word that polite) is a proven dead end, what if 
we start looking harder for little cracks in the wall where a 
ray of light might shine through? What, if instead of battling 
opinion with opinion and trying to beat back their dogma with 
our dogma, we spent some time probing beneath the dogma? What if 
we listened to the music instead of just the words?

I hereby declare April and May to be Take a Blockhead to Lunch 
Months. Participation is easy. As soon as you finish this 
column, pause to think of someone you know who cares about 
what´s happening in the world and whose opinions differ sharply 
from yours, whether it´s about President George Bush and the war 
in Iraq, immigration, evolution, abortion, educational testing, 
Hillary Clinton - pick your flash point.

Then call him or her to announce that it´s Take a Blockhead to 
Lunch Month and that he´s the blockhead you´ve chosen; if you 
think there may be a more effective way to phrase the 
invitation, have at it. Then go get lunch together, or 
breakfast, dinner, coffee, tea, a beer. After you´ve ordered and 
settled in, ask your dining partner plainly and respectfully 
what he or she thinks or feels about issues that seem to divide 
you.

There are just a couple of rules. One: Ask real questions, not 
opinions that have question marks stuck onto the end. We all 
know how this works. Despite what we learned in high school 
grammar classes, sentences beginning with "Oh, come on now, do 
you actually believe..." don´t qualify as questions.

Two: Through the course of the conversation, aim to listen at 
least four times more than you talk. Use your talking time to 
ask more questions to get clearer on what your blockhead means 
and how her peculiar opinions were formed.

If what he says pushes your buttons, and if you´re busting to 
answer back - and if you´re a person inclined to do this 
exercise at all, you probably will be - stretch yourself to 
listen even more. (If you do this part well, I´d personally 
appreciate any helpful tips.) If you´re just dying to express 
your own opinions, you might ask your blockhead if you can be 
his or her blockhead. It will be your turn to be taken to lunch, 
and you can reverse roles.

The worst that will happen is that you´ll find out you were 
right; he or she really is a complete blockhead who must be 
living on another planet.

Then again you might be deeply surprised by what you hear. You 
might catch a lasting insight that you can´t even imagine right 
now. And what could that lead to? We don´t know that either. One 
next step might be to start again and find a second blockhead to 
take to lunch, which should be easy. There are plenty of us out 
here. We´re all in a learning process. Please let us know how 
your conversation went at blockheadtolunch.com. Thanks.

Jeff Golden is a contributor to Writers on the Range, a service 
of High Country News (hcn.org). He is a writer and host of the 
Jefferson Exchange on Jefferson Public Radio in Ashland, Oregon.