[Vision2020] NSA and City Zoning (Was " NSA Pleading Letter")

[Joan Opyr]

On Mar 23, 2006, at 6:02 AM, Tom Hansen wrote:

> Greetings Visionairea -
>
> Concerning NSA and their bid for the status quo:
>
> Lest we forget another argument so often used by Roy Atwood, Doug 
> Wilson, et
> al; "They [city council] didn't prevent us from moving in back then."
>
> An analogy:  Suppose I had been shoplifting regularly at the Palouse 
> Mall.
> I was able to do this unfettered primarily due to a close relationship 
> that
> I maintained with mall security.  Suddenly the owner of the Palouse 
> Mall
> replaces mall security employees with a more efficient, reliable 
> group.  The
> next day I am arrested while attempting to shoplift.
>
> Question:  Would it be right to have the arrest voided so that I can
> continue shoplifting simply because nobody did anything earlier?

An interesting question, Tom, and one without a simple answer.  As 
we've seen with zoning code here in Moscow, enforcement does not depend 
on what you do but rather on who you are.  Here are three scenarios:

1. You're Tom Hansen.  You've been caught shoplifting.  You're 
prosecuted and go straight to jail.  Do not pass Go.  Do not collect 
$200.

2. You're former Bush aide and right-wing morality scold, Claude Allen. 
  You're a frequent shoplifter -- in fact, you shoplift so well and so 
often that you've actually worked out a money-back system.  You buy 
some expensive stuff at the mall, save the receipt, then return to the 
store a few days later and steal the same items.  Using the receipt, 
you then take what you've stolen back to the store and get a "refund."  
You say to yourself, "It's not really stealing because I only break 
even.  I pay for some stuff, return the stolen stuff, and wind up with 
free stuff.  Plus, I'm a Republican with bona fide family values."  
You're prosecuted in liberal/lefty Gaithersburg, Maryland, but because 
of your links to the Bush Administration, you get a slap on the wrist 
and a tell-all deal with the tabloids.  Not great (you're an unemployed 
thief) but not bad (the tabloids pay you a fortune to dish on the Bush 
twins).

3.  You're Doug Wilson.  You're caught in the Ross Dress-for-Less 
stuffing an artificial Christmas tree down your trousers.  When the 
mall cops snag you, you scream "religious persecution" as loudly as you 
can and then point to a gay couple over in the home decorating aisle.  
"Look," you say, "they're snatching up all the best picture frames for 
photos of their cats, Gertrude and Alice!"  The mall cops are 
distracted by this.  You seize your opportunity and break free -- the 
Christmas tree is chafing like hell, but God is on your side, and so 
you endure.  You go home, set the tree up in your large front window 
and string it with the bright red lights that you nicked earlier from 
the WalMart Supercenter.  Your neighbors and the folks at Ross 
Dress-for-Less wait for the cops to come and get you, but they never 
do.  You laugh.  You write and publish a 25-page booklet called "Jesus 
and the Five-finger Discount, or Why It's Not Stealing if You're 
Saved."  It turns out that 23 of the 25 pages are copied from a tabloid 
piece about Claude Allen, but the National Enquirer decides to let it 
go.  You plan out your Christmas dinner foray through the Rosauer's.  
Can you fit a 25-lb spiral cut ham into your Levi's Dockers?  Where 
will you tuck the candied yams?  No matter; you are truly blessed!

Food for thought (but only if you wash it well),

Joan Opyr/Auntie Establishment
www.joanopyr.com