[Vision2020] Question

[Joan Opyr]

Dear Michael:

I'm beginning to believe that the Kirk is populated entirely by 
scrawny, inadequate, pimply-faced boys.  Is there some theological 
point to all of this pick-pick-pick, or is this all just itching powder 
in your jockstrap and earthworms on your bologna sandwich?  Just how 
old is Deacon James?  I mean chronologically.  Nearing forty?  Over 
forty?  Does he have a pot belly and a bald spot or is he still wearing 
stripe-y play shirts?

The following reads like those notes the boys in junior high fold into 
small footballs and shoot at girls during Algebra class.  When I was in 
the 9th grade -- during the year dot -- I remember being bombarded on a 
daily basis by a spotty little fellow named Jim.  Each day, the first 
football note to bounce off my desk was always an invitation to meet 
him at the roller rink, the lunch table, or the video arcade.  When I 
said no, the second note informed me that 1) Jim didn't like me anyway, 
and 2) that my mother wore combat boots.

Joan Opyr/Auntie Establishment

PS: Tomorrow morning, I'm going to call my mother and tell her that Jim 
is the reason I'm a lesbian.
PPS: Unless she's busy polishing her combat boots.

On Jun 30, 2006, at 3:50 PM, Michael wrote:

>
> Kirker Deacon James,
>  
> You Write:
>  
> “Mike-Dogg,
>
>  A mutual friend asked me a couple of weeks ago about you. He was 
> wondering if perhaps your descent into madness has anything to do with 
> your fear of being naked.
>
>  I told him that, no, your fear of being naked has nothing to do with 
> it. But then I started to wonder, so I thought I'd just ask you.
>
>  Are the roots of your crusade found in your fear of being naked?
>
>  Just curious,
>
>  Deacon”
>  
>  
> Me:
> Thank you so much for following up with me.  I think I’m going to call 
> the elders and tell them that all the love and kindness from those 
> closest to Wilson’s defense have won me over.  You are certainly a 
> good Christian friend Deacon; I really have been mad to give up close 
> fellowship with your love; I feel ashamed for publicly criticizing 
> your type.
>  
> Michael

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