Fwd: [Vision2020] 1/20/06 Argonaut: Learning safe sex the hard way

[sean]

Was the message here that abstenance is the only 
safe approach, to take a blood draw and have it 
tested before engaging in another sex act with a 
relative stranger, or that one needs to put a 
ziploc in your mouth before oral sex in lieu of 
an oral condom?

Probably none of the latter.  It's probably just 
another "oh well we're all going to have sex so 
let's just, as they used to say on Hill St. 
Blues, 'be careful out there' "

Assumptions are great until reality rocks one's world.

s

>
>
>Learning safe sex the hard way 
><http://www.argonaut.uidaho.edu/index2.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=993&Itemid=48&pop=1&page=0#>
>Written by Sam Taylor -Argonaut    Friday, 20 
>January 2006 Sarah is a senior. She has many 
>friends, is involved in several organizations on 
>campus and considers herself an activist.
>
>That’s why she wants to get her story out. While 
>Sarah is not her real name — she asked to remain 
>anonymous — she still wishes to tell others of 
>her experience. It begins with a random 
>encounter, like any other that might occur 
>between a man and a woman at a bar. The story 
>has no ending yet, because the man is on trial.
>But what matters to Sarah is that others know 
>about her experience with Kanay Mubita, who is 
>alleged to have transferred his body fluids to 
>her and 14 other women in Moscow, all the while 
>knowing he was HIV-positive.
>
>During the second or third week of October 2005, 
>Sarah spent an evening at CJ’s and was buying 
>drinks when the tall, lanky man approached her.
>“He told me, ‘You’re so beautiful,’” she says.
>
>She thought it was a weird encounter. Mubita 
>told her they couldn’t talk because he was black 
>and she was white. She had noticed him before — 
>usually “with a whole bunch of girls around him.”
>
>So Sarah left him to go back to her group of 
>friends, approaching him again after a 
>girlfriend suggested she ask Mubita to dance.
>
>This was months before she would find out, from 
>friends and newspaper articles, that Mubita had 
>been arrested. That night, she says, he told her 
>a story of law school and how he had just passed 
>the bar exam. She was impressed and thought 
>nothing of it, she says.
>“I trust people, I guess.”
>
>The two eventually ended up at Mubita’s 
>apartment, where he cooked her dinner. 
>Afterward, he suggested that they lay down in 
>his bed. He pressured her to have sex, she says, 
>but she refused. The pair did engage in oral sex 
>without any type of protection.
>
>Sarah admits she was intoxicated that night. 
>That’s part of the lesson, she says — that 
>people need to not let “alcohol be a mask to 
>what is going on.”
>Sarah stayed at Mubita’s apartment for nearly a 
>week. He even gave her a key to his apartment.
>
>But during those days, she says, it became 
>apparent that Mubita was not completely truthful 
>with her.
>
>Friends told her they had never heard of him 
>being enrolled at the University Of Idaho 
>College of Law. They had not heard of many 
>things he told her.
>Sarah says Mubita weaved many tales — so many 
>that he eventually confused even himself.
>
>After telling her the plight of his infant son 
>and how he and his girlfriend had recently 
>broken up, Sarah says he also informed her that 
>he was getting a $15,000 check soon, that he 
>owned a business with a friend and that his 
>ex-girlfriend was moving to Washington, D.C., 
>because she was in the Army.
>
>Sarah would find out later, during a witness 
>deposition as part of a preliminary hearing at 
>the Latah County Courthouse, that his 
>ex-girlfriend happened to be his first alleged 
>victim, and that she was mentally disabled.
>
>“He was so caught up in this world of lies that 
>they started not making sense.”
>The two engaged in oral sex several times 
>throughout the week Sarah stayed with Mubita, 
>she says, and all the time he tried to pressure 
>her into sex. When the issue of condoms was 
>brought up, she says, Mubita apparently told her 
>that he did not need them.
>
>Sarah says she brought some over to his apartment just in case.
>“Eventually, I think he finally understood we 
>weren’t going to have sex and he gave them back 
>to me.”
>
>Sarah says she also feels bad, because one of 
>the reasons why she did not have intercourse 
>with Mubita was because he was from Africa, and 
>she knew that HIV and AIDS were prevalent there. 
>She says she wished at that time that she had 
>not stereotyped the Zambian man.
>
>“There’s this stereotype, and I know this is 
>going to hurt the situation even more.”
>The Saturday after they had met, Sarah says, the 
>lies unraveled and she gave Mubita his house key 
>back. He attempted to remain in contact with 
>her, asking her if she was mad at him and 
>randomly showing up at her apartment.
>“I was trying to ignore him.”
>
>The last time they had any contact was when he 
>called her before Thanksgiving, she says, 
>telling her that he was going to England for 
>some time and wouldn’t be back for a while, so 
>he wanted to see her. She refused, she says.
>Sometimes, Mubita tried to seek sympathy from her, Sarah says.
>
>“He would say, ‘Don’t talk to me, I’m nothing,’ 
>but I told him at the time, ‘What are you 
>talking about? You’ve got a lot going for you 
>right now.”
>She found out the whole truth the Sunday before 
>finals week of the fall 2005 semester.
>
>“He knew what was going on in his life. I can 
>understand how you could feel like nothing if 
>you had HIV.”
>
>Friends had read in the newspaper that Mubita 
>had been arrested and that he was HIV-positive. 
>Sarah looked into the issue more herself and 
>eventually called the police.
>
>She says she was shocked, worried and scared.
>“I was just a wreck. Nobody expects that to 
>happen with someone you know. You don’t expect 
>it to happen to you.”
>
>While Sarah has tested negative for HIV in the 
>initial two months since she had sexual contact 
>with Mubita, she will continue to be tested for 
>a six-month period. That is the length of time 
>it can take for the virus to show up in the body 
>after initial contact.
>
>North Central Health District officials did tell 
>her that there was a good chance she would not 
>be infected because of the initial results, but 
>she says that does not mean she doesn’t worry.
>
>“I want to move on with it, but it’s probably 
>going to consume my whole semester. Petty little 
>issues don’t mean anything now.”
>
>Sarah hopes that by hearing her story, others 
>will learn to be more careful in similar 
>situations.
>
>“We hear about it on the news all the time, but 
>the fact that it happened in Moscow, Idaho, 
>makes it more profound,” she says. “I want 
>people to know the situation, that it happened 
>to somebody here. I really want to use this 
>experience to help people. This gives me the 
>tools.”
>
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-- 
Thanks,
s


         * * * * * * * *
         Sean Michael
         .dwg


"the climbs are life"
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