[Vision2020] Headlines

[Art Deco]

The following headlines and comments were sent to us from a friend elsewhere:

Talk about good GT Headlines! Look at these!

 

THE BEST HEADLINES OF 2005: 

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter 
[Imagine that!] 

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says 
[No, really?] 

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers 
[Now that's taking things a bit far!] 

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over 
[What a guy!] 

Miners Refuse to Work after Death 
[No-good lazy so-and-sos!] 

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant 
[See if that works any better than a fair trial!] 

War Dims Hope for Peace 
[I can see where it might have that effect!] 

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile 
[You think?] 

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures 
[Who would have thought!] 

Enfield Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide 
[They may be on to something!] 

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges 
[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?] 

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge 
[he probably IS the battery charge!] 

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group 
[Weren't they fat enough?!] 

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft 
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!] 

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks 
[Do they taste like chicken?] 

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half 
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!] 

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors 
[Boy, are they tall!] 

And the winner is.... 

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead 
[No comment.] 

 
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