[Vision2020] Pigs, hogs, boars and bores

[g. crabtree]

My goodness, that seemed needlessly hateful, not to mention uncalled for. By 
the way, you really are overworking the violin enhanced pity party theme. 
Are you running out of material? I know you prefer not to be refered to as 
Mary but, Lord knows you'll never cut it as Charlotte.

gc

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Joan Opyr" <joanopyr at moscow.com>
To: <vision2020 at moscow.com>
Sent: Friday, August 04, 2006 11:53 AM
Subject: [Vision2020] Pigs, hogs, boars and bores


> Donovan, you're a pig.  You're a list hog.  You are boorish and thus both
> a boar and a bore.  There now: are you satisfied?  Area Man has not called
> you a swine.  I have.  This, Arnold Ziffel, is an ad hominem attack.  I
> back it up with no arguments whatsoever; I simply invite people to read or
> re-read your 20 per day of illiterate, irrational, irritating squeals
> dating back, I believe, to the Battle of the Somme.  Brave readers may
> draw their own conclusions as to when exactly you met and annoyed the
> great swine-making goddess Circe.  I would suggest that this happened at
> the time of your birth, so either you were secretly pushed out in on an
> island in Greece or Circe came to Moscow in the early 1970s.  I'm plumping
> for the latter as it would explain more than just your own boarish/boorish
> behavior.
>
> You are an oik and an oink, Donovan Arnold.  On the Internet, as in life,
> this world is all about root hog or die.  You're rooting, all right, but
> you're not rootin' tootin', and I'm not rooting for you, nor yet am I
> playing the tiny violin at your endless pity party.  Why not?  Because you
> can't teach a pig to sing or to dance.  You can't put lipstick on a pig,
> and you can't make a silk's purse out of a sow's ear.  No matter how you
> slice it -- thick cut, center cut, or cured in maple syrup -- you will
> never be appropriately dressed for your very own swinish soiree.
>
> That's too bad, but all is not lost.  Perhaps some day a lovely spider
> named Charlotte will take up residence in the corner of your bedroom and
> write the word "Humble" in her web.  You will read this and take it to
> heart.  Then we will no longer be bored/boared/boored unto death by your
> endless empty annoying squeals.
>
> Until then, however, this Templeton the Rat isn't holding her breath.
>
> Joan
>
> Joan Opyr/Auntie Establishment
> www.joanopyr.com
>
> ---------------------------------------------
> This message was sent by First Step Internet.
>           http://www.fsr.com/
>
>
> =======================================================
> List services made available by First Step Internet,
> serving the communities of the Palouse since 1994.
>               http://www.fsr.net
>          mailto:Vision2020 at moscow.com
> =======================================================
>