[Vision2020] The joy of hobbies

[Joan Opyr]

Donovan:

I'm sorry (and I think it's sad) that you should have been up all night 
searching through the Vision 2020 archives for examples of my rudeness. 
  Good grief.  I would have been happy to admit to that without the aid 
of your tiresome research.  The charitable might describe me as 
forthright, but I am, quite frequently, rude, insulting, and 
smart-assed.  I learned to "do the dozens" as a mere infant, and I'm 
good at it.  I could go on that "Your Mama's So Fat" show on VH1 and 
hold my own.  Your Mama's so fat, when they pierced her ears, gravy 
came out.  Your Mama's so fat, when she wears high heels, she takes a 
core sample.  If you want to know more about doing the dozens, then I 
suggest you rent Barbershop and Barbershop II.  It'll be an education 
for you.

One of things about being sharp-tongued, not mincing words, and not 
being afraid to call it you see it is that, if you've any integrity at 
all, you have to be ready and willing to apologize.  And I mean 
apologize sincerely.  None of this "I'm sorry if what I said made you 
mad," but "I'm sorry I was wrong."  Own up.  Take the blame.  Admit it 
when you're wrong and don't make excuses.  Where I believe that I have 
been unduly harsh or just flat out incorrect, I have apologized.  If 
you have another sleepless night, you might try looking up my many 
apologies to the assorted members of this list.  Just off the top of my 
head, I can recall having apologized to Phil Nisbet, Dan Carscallen, 
Michael Metzler, and -- only two days ago -- to members of the Wilson 
family over a trespass issue.  I am at present composing an apology to 
Gary Crabtree.  I believe that I've misread him on several occasions, 
and that we perhaps have more in common than I knew.  I like the fact 
that Gary is not a wimp, that he doesn't back down, and that he doesn't 
make things up.

You, on the other hand, do make things up.  You make things up 
constantly, but when you're clearly wrong-footed, you never apologize.  
You have owed Keely Emerine Mix a card, a dozen roses, and a ten-pound 
box of Godiva chocolates for well over a year now, ever since you got 
it all dead stinking wrong during the campaign for the failed school 
bond levy.  You bandied about false financial figures, accused her of 
malfeasance, and imagined that she was paid to be a trustee.  You were 
positively malignant on the subject, and I, for one, have damned you to 
perdition for that and that alone.  Everything else you have written 
and said has been nothing more than icing on a crap cake.

Here's my free and unasked for advice: go down to Hodgins' basement and 
buy yourself a complicated model.  Something with lots of little tiny 
parts; something requiring balsa wood and an Exacto knife.  Take your 
time building it.  Learn the virtues of care and patience.  But don't 
sniff the glue.

Joan Opyr/Auntie Establishment
www.joanopyr.com

PS: Rudeness, insult, and parody do not rise to the level of 
harassment, intimidation, and threat.  You are wrong; still.  Be a big 
boy and admit it.