[Vision2020] Roommates? What roommates?

[Joan Opyr]

As there seems to be some confusion about our living arrangements out 
here at Waco North, allow me to offer up a few quick facts:

1. My in-laws, the Huskeys, live with me.  I used to live with them, 
but they foolishly sold the farm to their eldest daughter, my 
homosexual/lesbian/same-sex partner.  My in-laws do not pay rent.  I 
did not pay them rent.  Rose is now my freeloader, just as I was once 
hers.  There is no binding agreement that Rose will live with Melynda 
and me forever.  Now, with a quit-claim deed in my hot little hand, I'm 
in the catbird seat.  If Rose continues to drop cigarette butts in the 
grass, I will send her to Good Sam's faster than you can say "sanctity 
of marriage."

2. I have one cat who lives in the barn.  I'm allergic to cats; they 
make me sneeze.

3. I don't have a basement.  I do have a crawl-space, but there's water 
down there, and you can't stand up in it unless you're under two feet 
tall.  If anyone lives in the crawl space, his name is Gollum, and I 
pray we never meet.

4. I don't have any roommates.  I have a family.  Grandma and Grandpa, 
me and my wife, our lovely kids, our four dogs (two indoor and two 
outdoor), and the aforementioned barn cat.  For the truly nosy, I also 
have two fat goldfish, a beta, an eel, and a plecostomus.  I like the 
plecostomus best.  I also have four hens and two roosters; one of the 
hens is broody, so I'm expecting chicks.  Oh, and I used to have a 
hamster, but it died.  Poor Hammy.

We are also rich in charismatic mega-fauna, but I wouldn't call the elk 
"mine," not until hunting season.

Joan Opyr/Auntie Establishment
www.joanopyr.com