[Vision2020] Ribbon Hypocrites

[Tom Hansen]

>From today's (May 18, 2005) The Skew (www.theskew.com).

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Ribbon Hypocrites Should Have Just Spent their $2.50 to Buy a Clue
Apparently

Columbus, OH - A an area man commented yesterday about the plethora of
"Support Our Troops" ribbons he's seen on the back of cars lately, and how
they're pissing him off plenty. Joe Corolla complained, "man, those damn
tacky things are popping up everywhere. And if you're a tailgater, you can
hardly avoid reading the sentiments on them. Support our troops with some
Chinese manufactured piece of crap? Well, I guess we do need that money from
the Chinese government, our biggest loan shark for our biggest deficit. It's
like I support our troops, but only for about $2.50 and only because they
had the magnets set up by the cash register for my impulse buy, along with
my $7 pack of Marlboros. I support our troops as long as I can get a scratch
off ticket at the same time. I support our troops, but only if I can get a
half cafe 1% mochachoca latte at the same time. I support our troops'
efforts as long as I can multi-task and be an incredibly cheap bastard at
the same time. In fact, I support our troops so much, that I even voted for
another cheap bastard who didn't buy our troops body armor. At least the
ribbons are magnetic, so I can start ripping them off your vehicles and
shoving them down your throats so you can literally taste what bad taste you
all have. Or maybe I'll just use them for magnet therapy for my tendonitis."

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Take care, Moscow.

Pro patria,

Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho

For every purpose there is a season . . . 

"Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will
stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving
path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so
far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb."

-Sir Winston Churchill