[Vision2020] Shroud of Turin Questions

[Joan Opyr]

Kai affectionately writes:

"My Dearest Joan,

Sorry, but I have a newspaper to put out, so I did not have time to search
for any more information than what I learned about the shroud on National
Geographic as I was winding down not too long ago."


And I, Kai Darling, have a New West Magazine blog and books to write, not to mention fish, dogs, chickens, cats, and a five year-old to feed (not necessarily in that order).  It is clear that you and I are both just as busy as a two-peckered owl in a hen-house, but before making assumptions about possible "Intolerista" motives for Vision 2020's shroud skepticism, it might be a good idea to do just a bit of fact-checking.  If The Daily News and The Spokesman Review have enough time to interview and photograph Nate Wilson and his work of art, then they surely ought to take the time to do a bit of reading about the current state of shroud research.  Speaking of which . . .  

"Even after all of their experiments and with all of their knowledge, they
still haven't figured out how it was made. Recreated with some accuracy?
Maybe, but not *exactly*, Joan. That is where the riddle is. And why it's
driven scientists nuts for years."

No, Kai.  You are misstating (and misunderstanding) the nature of scientific research.  The Shroud of Turin has *not* driven scientists nuts for years.  It has driven religious skeptics, religious fanatics, science fair amateurs, the Amazing Randi, and producers of shows like "In Search Of" and "Ripley's Believe it or Not" nuts.  So, too, have Bigfoot, UFOs, and the Loch Ness Monster.  What drives scientists nuts is string theory, or quantum mechanics, or Stephen Hawking's admission that he made a mistake in his original work on black holes and the origins of the universe.  Graduate students around the world who have based their work on Hawking's premises are now horrified, chagrinned, and possibly unemployable.  Physics students around the globe are not-so-mysteriously developing trichotillimania.  (Don't look it up; it means they're pulling their hair out.)   

There is no great scientific mystery over how the Shroud of Turin might have been manufactured; science has carbon-dated it and proven that it was a medieval forgery.  Various and sundry reliable researchers have suggested at least half a dozen ways in which it might have been made.  I suggested a couple of these to you yesterday.  If you're looking for the definitive solution, of course you won't find it.  Why?  Because it's not the middle ages, we don't know the name(s) of the forger(s), and, as with all of our interpretations of history and historical artifacts, there are multiple possibilities.  Are scientists going "nuts" over the manufacture of the pyramids or Stonehenge?  No.  Are there multiple plausible theories about the techniques used in building of these monuments?  Yes.  Can we ever know for certain how they were made?  Not until someone (other than Stephen Hawking) builds a time machine.   

So here's the poop, Kai.  It's not just the Shroud of Turin that was manufactured; it's the "mystery" of the shroud.  Listen, as much as I hate to pop balloons (because, like Fox Mulder, I want to believe) here are a few other eye-openers.  There is no "mystery" of the Bermuda Triangle.  We know what happened to Amelia Earhardt.  There's a Yeti in "Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer" but his real life brother does not live in the Himalayas  And, finally, whatever crashed in Roswell, New Mexico back in the 1947, you can bet your sweet (and very busy) patootie that it has never starred in a movie with Will Smith.

BTW, I've been to Loch Ness, and I did see something mysterious floating across the lake.  Mind you, I was there with my friends Boris and Julia, and we'd split a fifth a vodka between us.  We mixed it with fizzy bottled lemonade.  What I saw was probably a piece of my liver, making a fast getaway before I could do it anymore harm.

Skeptically yours,
Joan Opyr/Auntie Establishment   Get more from the Web.  FREE MSN Explorer download : http://explorer.msn.com
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