[Vision2020] Bush Bummed He Won't Get to Meet Franco

[Tom Hansen]

>From today's (February 23, 2005) The Skew (www.theskew.com) 

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Bush Bummed He Won't Get to Meet Franco This Trip (With Him Being Dead and
All)
 
Brussels - A front-page headline this week shrieked the start of Bush's
"Charm Offensive" on Olde Europe but there was one offensive charmer who
would be sadly left out on the President's visit. After planting a good
night kiss on Jacques Chirac despite his refusal to share the Iraqi marriage
bed, Bush was all too happy to blow off Belgium, Germany and Slovakia to
head on his merry way to Spain. That is until an aide broke the news to him
that General Francisco Franco was dead, and had been since 1975. "Huh,"
inquired the confused president. He continued, "then why's everybody always
comparing me to him if he been too dead to meet me? I heard he also had
hisself a rigid one-party government, forcible suppression of the opposition
lefties 'n gays and private ownership of big business under centralized
governmental control, 'n even belligerent name calling nationalism under the
guise of promoting racism and the glorification of war. I mean, I heard he
was our kinda guy. I guess they put them obituaries in them newspapers in
all that's mebee why I din't see it." For the rest of the trip, Bush will
now have to ingratiate himself on some other unfortunate live world leader.
He joked to aides that he probably would have remembered when that upstart
White House correspondent Chevy Chase kept reporting on Franco's death
thirty years ago, had he not been smoking all that really fine marijuana he
doesn't want to now share with the kids.

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Take care, Moscow.

Tom Hansen

"What is objectionable, what is dangerous, about extremists is not that they
are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not what they say
about their cause, but what they say about their opponents."

-- Robert F. Kennedy