[Vision2020] Message from a Christ Church Wife

[Christian Burns]

Dear ChristChurch Wife,

I hear what you are saying. I don't know Doug Wilson, never met him. I
do not doubt how you feel.

I just wanted to offer some thoughts that I had while reading your
post. I am speaking as a Christian to another Christian, I know this
will sound insensitive to most people.

First of all I wanted to say how sorry I am for the state of your
marriage. You and your husband lack unity. The goal of marriage is
intimacy, and you have this huge wedge between you.

I have been a part of a church with a strong leader that has hurt
people, friends of mine. Caused offence and they took the bait of the
enemy and left the church. It was hard to witness, it didn't have to
go down like it did. People harbor bitterness and it gives a place for
the enemy to thrive in their lives and family. My heart breaks for
them. Some have come through all right, others are rotting from the
inside out.

I have also been part of churches with weak leaders. They have a whole
other set of issues. I have seen families destroyed because people
were not held accountable for sin.

My point is that you have a mandate from God as a wife and mother. It
is not to convince your husband that he is wrong in how he is leading
your family. Your calling whether you like it or not is to support
your husband. Submit to him as the Church is to submit to Christ. Your
husband is called to submit himself to Christ.

If you continue to press for your family to leave by pointing out the
faults of those in your church, you will destroy your family, not save
it. I know that you might disagree with that statement but I would
challenge you to look in scripture.

My wife thinks that your focus needs to me coming into unity with your
husband, not trying to get him to heed your words. Let him lead,
support him.

I am also going to mention your children. I don't know how old they
are or how many you have. But if they feel that bitterness in you
towards others, it will effect them in a bad way.

Are you going outside of your husbands covering and getting together
with others to share your concerns about the church? Stop it, resolve
that God has placed your family where it is and that He never rewards
a spirit of division.

If you want to talk to my wife further about her thoughts, email me
and I will give you her cell phone number. She said that you can talk
to her more about your situation.

And I may be ridiculed for posting this, but I really felt that I needed to.

Christian Burns






On Wed, 9 Feb 2005 19:22:01 -0800 (PST), ChristChurch Wife
<christchurchwife at yahoo.com> wrote:
> Dear Visionaries,
>   
> I am a Christ Church wife.  Of the many of things I could write, I decided
> in the end that what I’m about to write is the most important.  I realize
> there’s no reason why you should trust an anonymous posting like mine but
> it's my hope that somehow you'll decide to read it anyway. 
>   
> It’s amazing how God has been so merciful to Christ Church/Trinity members
> through this forum.  Many of you have been such a comfort to me and you
> don’t even know it.  It’s hard to belong to a church whose pastor treats
> people the way Doug Wilson does, especially those who oppose him publicly. 
> No, it’s not hard, I take that back.  It’s horrible.  It’s become a
> nightmare. It’s shame and outrage and grief that no amount of tears can
> wash away. Part of me wants to write a thousand more words but I won’t
> waste your time.  Why?  Because of the glaring question that logically
> follows: “Then why don’t you leave that church?”  I'm working on it as
> hard as I can. Some day I will get out but when I leave I refuse to go
> alone.  I will be taking my family with me.  I will not allow my marriage to
> be destroyed or my children split apart in the process. Slowly and
> consistently my husband has begun to heed the wo! rds I speak to him
> regarding Christ Church.  The day is coming when his eyes will be fully open
> and his faith will lead the way.  That is the day we’ll leave.  I believe
> that with all my heart.  It's coming.  But even then, the road to recovery
> will be long. That's okay.  I'm not deceived.  My marriage will survive and
> we'll be fine again someday.  Nobody said that only husbands are responsible
> to protect their families. Wives are called to do the same. Mine is also a
> rescue and recovery mission and you, on this forum, have been an incredible
> blessing in this long, difficult process. 
>   
> My reason for posting today is because I want to say thank you. With all my
> heart I thank you for how you do your best to help open the eyes of Christ
> Church/Trinity people. (I dislike that word "Kirkers.") Thank you for the
> insight and careful observations you've brought to issue after issue
> concerning Christ Church.  I especially appreciate how determined you are in
> your resolve to speak forth.  Thank you for your example of courage, for
> exposing the tactics of Doug Wilson and refuting them. For remaining
> vigilant no matter how Christ Church leaders respond to you. Thank you for
> the humorous statements that have literally made my day so many times. 
> It’s amazing how much strength one can get from humor. Thank you for all
> the personal time you've given in posting.  And most of all, thank you for
> your compassion for Christ Church wives and children and even our husbands
> that has comforted me time and time again. It’s been overwhelming. 
>   
> I've learned so much about people from Vision 2020.  Your service to the
> Palouse is unquestionable. People who don't even know me care about me and
> in their own way have tried to help me. My mind has been stretched.  My
> world has perspectives it never had before. I’ve gained more understanding
> and compassion for others in ways that have made me a far better person.  I
> don't have to agree with everything written on a post to be able to say
> thank you for writing it.  I see in you a true desire to make the Palouse a
> better place to live.  I see individuals trying and one by one it’s
> working. Thank you.  Thank you with all my heart for what you’ve done for
> me as a person and Christian. 
>   
> If I may, I would like to say a special thanks to Tom Hansen for his "Not on
> the Palouse" site.  God only knows how many people have been spared the
> grief I've known because of it. For their lives sake, I thank you. 
>   
> Because the Daily News, understandably, will not accept anonymous letters
> I’d also like to publicly thank Vera White for her brave column.  She has
> withstood the vehemence of Wilson's world for years and done it with
> remarkable grace. She never ceases to amaze me with her lion's heart. Vera's
> example of courage and integrity in journalism has inspired me more than
> she’ll ever know.  Even if I don't agree with every word she says, she's
> my hero. Thank you, Vera.  Thank you forever.  
>   
> Thank you, Vision 2020, for allowing me to post this.  
>   
> With deepest gratitude and respect, 
> A Christ Church wife 
>  
> 
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