[Vision2020] Robin Hood

[Joan Opyr]

Dear Dave,

I did sleep well last night, but then I was on drugs.  Hydrocodone, that is.  Hillbilly heroin.  Limbaugh tea.  Ya'll come back now, ya hear?  (And, no, I didn't get my dope from Mr. Limbaugh's housekeeper.  My prescription is perfectly legal and my usage perfectly valid.  Anyone who read my post on the dead mouse in my Frosted Flakes will know that I don't have a housekeeper -- Melynda's protestations to the contrary.)

I've been giving some thought, Dave, to your daughter's comment re: the redistribution of wealth.  "That's stealing!"  While I certainly wouldn't accuse you of indoctrinating that innocent young tot with your libertarian thinking, have you ever considered exposing her to some classic children's literature like, say, The Adventures of Robin Hood?  Then again, perhaps Robin Hood is a kind of gateway drug; just as hydrocodone leads one to think of Mr. Limbaugh (if not to think like Mr. Limbaugh), then perhaps Robin Hood and his merry men lead straight to Das Kapital?  Oh, Friar Tuck, what hast thou wrought?

BTW, I spent part of my childhood living in a small town just outside of Detroit.  I think it's quite possible, Dave, that your Lake Michigan blue streak might have drifted across the lower peninsula and settled on the banks of the Detroit River.  Hence, my mother has you to thank as well as my grandfather to blame for my colorful vocabulary.

Tally-ho, my libertarian friend,
Joan Opyr/Auntie Establishment

PS: Oh, sorry, Dave, but the ointment won't help.  You'll probably have to call the Bosley Clinic.  If you don't know the number, just sit up tonight watching ESPN until ten or eleven o'clock.  The Bosley Clinic's 1-800 number will flash across the screen at least a dozen times.  You'll also have a chance to jot down the number for Enzyte should you by any chance be interested in other forms of natural male enhancement.  (I don't know where all you applied that depilatory cream, and I don't want to know.)  

----- Original Message -----
From: David M. Budge
Sent: Thursday, February 10, 2005 12:41 PM
To: Joan Opyr
Cc: Vision2020 Moscow
Subject: Re: [Vision2020] Social Security Time Line

Joan, I'm hoping you slept well last night.  I've been spending the day daubing the soars from my overexposure to the extra-strength depilatory.  I'm researching ways to accelerate the generation of my dermas and I think a combination of human growth hormone and intravenous bee venom may do the trick.  I'll keep you posted since you were the impetus for my chemical self-flagellation.

Anyhow, after years of living in Chicago I'm convinced about one thing for sure.  The speed in which I am able to traverse cross-town traffic is directly proportional my red-faced, sputum splattering, invective saturated road rage.  It usually comforts me upon arrival to my intended destination. Like the father in the movie A Christmas Story, I'm sure that I have "spun a string of obscenities that still lingers over Lake Michigan to this day."  

And yes, I kiss my mother with this mouth.

Dave BudgeGet more from the Web.  FREE MSN Explorer download : http://explorer.msn.com
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